Do you gambol? I thought that was an odd question coming from the fellow moving through the casino’s buffet line ahead of me. “I do skip or leap about in play occasionally and I’m not opposed to a bit of cavorting or frolicking,” I replied, wondering where the conversation was headed. He gave me a look as if I were a visitor from another galaxy. “Oh, you meant … [Read more...]

A cow chip is no chocolate chip. I don’t see many cow chip cookies where I hang out. Once upon a time in a land far, far away, I was floating happily on the raft of life when I was voluntold to take part in a cow chip throwing contest—a crazy sport that has gone platinum. Voluntold is when someone volunteers you to do something. In a weak moment, I agreed to do it. I … [Read more...]

“You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometime you’ll find. You get what you need.” Those words were written by the noted philosophers Mick Jagger and Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones. One year, I wanted a Rolling Stones record album. I liked the Stones. Still do. I believed in the triumph of hope over experience, but no one must have heard my constant … [Read more...]

My name is Batt. I’m a private investigator. I get $5 a day minus expenses. I’ve been meaning to write a business plan. I sat in my smoke-filled office located in my obscure corner of the world. I don’t smoke, but some things shouldn’t be reheated in a microwave. The leisure suit I wore matched any gravy stain. I’d learned plenty from the patter of tough talkers … [Read more...]

I’m trapped between two oceans. I often travel by automobile and when I do, I’m partial to roads. There is public transportation here, but only so many people can ride on one horse. If all the roads went away, I’d just mill around waiting for them to come back. The roads are all uphill, except those that are downhill. Before I was a licensed driver, I’d suggest my father … [Read more...]

It might have been the best day in the history of the world. That hadn’t been confirmed by a meteorologist, an economist or a loudmouthed crackpot, but it was a dandy. I squatted like a baseball catcher while making those weird old-man sounds to marvel at the charm of the dead nettle growing in my fall yard. Each green leaf had a prominent silver stripe down the center. I … [Read more...]

I finished it. Yay me! I can summarize the book in a single sentence. Get rid of things that no longer have a purpose or spark joy and keep only the things that are purposeful or meaningful. I’m not sure why I read a book on decluttering a home. The book wasn’t in my wheelhouse, but I’d just donated many dear books to a library and sought affirmation I’d done the right … [Read more...]

A turtle passed me. It was a bafflement. I’d been humming the theme from “Jeopardy” as I paused on a busy highway. The turtle gave me a keen grasp of my situation. I don’t know what kind of turtle it was because it zoomed by so quickly. It might have been a Mitsubishi, but I think that was what I was driving. Upon further investigation, I discovered it was Labor Day and I … [Read more...]