Lately, nothing is safe around me. I’ve entered a feral nesting stage with the due date of our fifth child fast approaching. Somehow my trash bags can’t fill up fast enough, and I hear reports from my niece like, “Auntie Liz is throwing everything away!!” Yes, yes I am. So glad you noticed.
Why? They say nesting is a result of hormone changes in pregnancy. I believe it, because my body is a cocktail of impulsive things that make little to no sense. Like my random, insatiable urge to eat green olives when I don’t even like them. I confuse myself.
Decluttering is not a new animal for me. I’ve done lots of decluttering, but none as explosively fueled as in my latest campaigns. The difference? Clarity. Alice in Wonderland is probably the last person I’d advise you getting mothering advice from, but she’s paraphrased in saying “If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll probably end up there.” Truer words could not be spoken about motherhood.
Clarity has a way of showing you exactly where you’re going. Rather than wandering around, it’s time for war. When we have clarity, action is easier. Mix clarity with the urgency of a due date (and a hormone cocktail) and you’d best just move out’ the way.
Though feral things aren’t generally considered a blessing (like the time we got a feral barn cat hopelessly stuck in our basement crawl space) I’d argue that the urgency of feral nesting is a blessing because I’m making space for what matters. Not just a new baby, but what actually matters to my family.
Six months ago, a mom friend told me she needed a season of pruning in her life. I think we’ve all been there before, when we know something needs to change, but we’re not quite sure what it is. Is it less work? A different job? More organization? More free time for the kids? We all know the “off” feeling of needed change.
Trouble is, if you don’t have clarity, you’ll be stuck with that “off” feeling.
Recently, I asked the same friend how her life-pruning was going. “I don’t even know,” she said, “I’m too busy to even think about it.” How crippling to be stuck with a felt need for change with no clarity!
My husband and I have been working on defining the values and mission statement of our household. It is a humbling and stretching question to ask yourself, “What do I want my home to be known for?” Especially when you stop and think what your home is currently known for. Defining the things you value is essential for clarity.
During a baby dedication today, my Pastor asked the congregation if we were willing to “make an environment conducive to teaching the gospel” for the child being dedicated. I grabbed my phone and jotted down his words because I immediately questioned … is my home conducive to teaching the gospel? Conducive means “helpful in making something happen.” Chat gpt says, “Think of it as: supportive of, favorable to, or setting the stage for. Conducive = making an outcome easier or more likely.”
Do our homes make it more or less conducive to living on purpose? If the random toys are just raising your stress hormones (which clutter does), I’d beg to argue that it’s got to go.
Moms, you’re the CEO of your household. Sure, dads play a big part too, but moms are ultimately the air traffic controllers of all things home. What do you want to be true of your home? Have you set the intention of your space so you know what belongs there?
My sister-in-law recently came over to help me declutter my pantry. She asked me, “What is this space used for?” to which I said, “Everything.” Little did I know, this is the opposite of clarity. If you have school papers, mixed with bulk baking supplies, mixed with toys and precious art projects, your brain can’t handle it.
She graciously helped me define the use of the space and we purged/organized accordingly. Let me tell you, the pantry is the favorite place in the house right now. I’ve had to kick my kids out of the pantry several times because they go in there to just be. There is something relaxing about clarity, and my kids intuitively feel it.
So where do you need clarity? I can’t lend you my feral nesting hormones, but I can encourage you to set the purpose of your home. What do you want your home to be known for? What has to go to make that happen? Don’t wait. Go get a trash bag and start today. You won’t regret it.
Meet your farmer – Liz Gerdes. She & her husband run a farm-to-table Raw milk dairy and Airbnb in Caledonia, Minn. They empower moms (& dads) to confidently feed their families nutrient-dense food using farm fresh milk! Visit gerdesfreshfarm.com or follow her on Facebook @gerdesfreshfarm or Instagram @gerdesliz for more info.
Fresh Milk Vanilla Pudding
1/3 c. sugar
2 T. cornstarch
1/8 t. salt
2 c. fresh milk
2 egg yolks, slightly beaten
2 T. butter
2 t. vanilla
Blend sugar, cornstarch and salt in a 2 quart sauce pan.
Combine milk and yolks then gradually add to the sugar mixture.
Cook over medium heat until it boils. Boil for one minute
while whisking so it doesn’t burn!
Remove from heat and stir in the butter and vanilla.
Pour in dishes and cool.
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