The temperature dropped as if it had spotted a State Patrol squad car. Then something landed in my yard. It was no mere bird. October 1 was the day I saw the first dark-eyed junco of the fall migrated into in my yard. I like juncos. I practice an appreciation for birds, but I was reminded of something Dr. Seuss wrote, “How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before it’s … [Read more...]

I remember it being the year after all the needles had fallen off the tree three days before Christmas. I was at a family reunion smaller than Rhode Island. They were talking of past glitter and petty schemes. They were my family’s elders. I’d guess their average age had been about 104 years. Judging by their wild and weedy eyebrows, none of them were narcissists. I enjoyed … [Read more...]

You picked up the phone and you hoped for the best. That’s how it was before everything went to voicemail. I’d returned to the big city after a daring rescue mission to free food from my parents’ pantry. I’d opened my apartment door to a ringing telephone. It was a friend who was working out of town. We played basketball together. He said he thought he’d left the keys in his … [Read more...]

Sanctimonious senators! It’s that time again. I’m taking a break from a life of unbridled ecstasy to make this important announcement. If you’re the kind who notices things, and I’ll bet you are, you know an election is coming. I lost my mood ring, so I don’t know how I feel about that. Everyone already at the top wants to go even higher. The election started about four years … [Read more...]

It was a beautiful day for a morning. I was sauntering down a gravel road when a pickup truck towing a boat pulled up. The brakes squeaked in protest. The driver turned off the engine of his dented and duct-taped vehicle. It dieseled for a minute before ending in a loud backfire. The driver of that rusty steed was my neighbor Crandall, who said through an open window … [Read more...]

Back in the days when everything was nearly copacetic, we made hay and ground feed. Not all of the hay went into the barn nor did all the feed go into a granary. A lot of it went down my neck, where it became an incessant itch. I have an itch to travel, to go places and make a triumphant return to fanfare at my humble abode. Yet, I welcome being homebound. I accept the … [Read more...]

His ancient pickup had undergone more oil changes than any vehicle in Iowa. That’s what legends are made of. I knew him because his son and I had gone to different schools in adjacent states together. He was a leaning man due to a limp and wore bib overalls as his garb of contentment. “How’s your good self?” I asked. He took it from there. He was typically a man of few … [Read more...]

“You live in the middle of nowhere.” The visitor who said that was from a big city. That caused me to reply in the traditional way, “Not really, but I can see nowhere from here.” I live not far from St. Aidan Catholic Cemetery. It’s near Bath, Minn., which falls in the category of a ghost town. The population is zero, but has 100% response to the Census. I visit there … [Read more...]

I rummaged around. It’s life on the planet Batt. I wasn’t chewing on life’s gristle or on a quest. I wasn’t looking for the truth. I wasn’t looking for answers. I wasn’t looking for Judge Crater, Amelia Earhart, Jimmy Hoffa or Waldo. I began my search as men typically do by saying, “Who stole my thingamajig?” Thingamajig could be replaced with whatnot, oojamaflip, whatsit, … [Read more...]