Breakfast isn’t skipped; it’s merely delayed.
Nicolas Chamfort said, “Swallow a toad in the morning if you want to encounter nothing more disgusting the rest of the day.”
Although it wasn’t Mark Twain, Abe Lincoln or Yogi Berra who said that, unless you’re a snake, a raccoon or a heron, it’s difficult to challenge the efficacy of Chamfort’s words. But you won’t find toad on a breakfast menu, even in the greasiest of greasy spoons.
My home-field breakfasts change little. I go for a walk and then enjoy toast with peanut butter, Multi Grain Cheerios with blueberries in milk, a banana and a cup of black tea. I say “MMMMM” as I eat, using 1/26 or 3.85% of the alphabet. If variety is the spice of life, I’m unspiced.
Everything was copacetic until it wasn’t.
My neighbor Crandall wasn’t in his typical cherubic mood. Someone had told him to have a nice day, but he hadn’t had one. He thought of suing that well-wisher after Crandall’s pickup truck developed front-end alignment issues after taking too many roads less traveled.
I picked him up at the repair garage and took him out for breakfast.
Breakfast is called “the most important meal of the day” for good reason. If breakfast is your favorite meal, you know it’s true.
There are busy days when all Crandall finds the time to eat at breakfast is instant pudding — butterscotch. That’s because sometimes, he needs pudding instantly. But when he’s feeling “Jeopardy” smart as opposed to “Wheel of Fortune” smart, he has a proper breakfast.
As its name suggests, breakfast breaks an overnight fasting period. It boosts energy levels and alertness, while providing essential nutrients required for good health. Research has shown the health benefits of eating breakfast include improving the ability to concentrate in the short term, helping with weight management, and promoting a reduced risk of disease.
This morning’s forecast was for a 100% chance of breakfast.
We stopped at an all-day breakfast cafe.
We ordered and then talked as Lewis Carroll might have, “The time has come, the Walrus said, To talk of many things: Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax — Of cabbages — and kings —And why the sea is boiling hot — And whether pigs have wings.”
But mainly we talked of bacon. Crandall believes bacon makes a breakfast taste as if it’s having fun and has learned that if his morning breath smells like bacon, none of his buddies ever complains.
There is no argument about Crandall’s favorite meal — it’s breakfast. Some may argue that breakfast isn’t the most important meal of the day, but the breakfast Crandall ate should have been his only meal of the day. He believes that an all-day breakfast means eating breakfast all day long. I had an away-from-home repast of an egg and hash browns washed down with a cup of scalding hot tea, while Crandall ate an entire petting zoo. He was going to get the hungry man’s breakfast, but decided that only the hungry country’s breakfast could appease his prodigious appetite. He tried to put on winter weight for the possible lean days ahead. His meal had generous portions of ham, bacon, sausage, breakfast potatoes, four eggs over easy, toast, two pancakes (each the size of a Jeep Grand Cherokee), a cinnamon roll covered in a pound of butter and an endless cup of coffee. A “Cup of Ambition” is a line from the iconic Dolly Parton song “9 to 5,” which describes the morning motivation found in a few cups of coffee.
Crandall was motivated to find the men’s room.
He ordered the sweet roll because even though Crandall has a good life, he deserves butter.
I tell myself, do not judge the breakfast of others, lest your breakfast be judged.
I’m told I should eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper. Crandall ate like a king who was eating for the entire royal family and its court.
As he attacked the cinnamon roll, I asked Crandall what a thesaurus eats for breakfast. The answer is a synonym roll. He smiled. It could have been gas.
Have a good morning.
That’s a wish, not a command, demand or promise.
Photo by Al Batt
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