It was Pabst My Bedtime but Definitely a Brew-haha

By Al Batt

We had traveled via a construction site to get there.

When nothing goes right, go left.

Orange barrels proclaimed the rampant demolition. They use orange barrels behind the cheddar curtain when they run out of road-killed deer and raccoon carcasses to slow drivers.

I drove past several “Sparta, Melvina” exit signs and wondered if any baby had been named Sparta Melvina because of those cities.

My wife found the phone reception excellent in Wisconsin because even the smallest towns had at least four bars.

We had rocked the heavy seas before Milwaukee unfurled before us.

We washed up on the shores of a historic Art Deco landmark of a hotel built in 1927 in downtown Milwaukee. There were 25 stories and 554 rooms; my wife and I stayed in one. Crowds packed the elevators beyond a comfortable capacity.

There were so many people, there was no place to hide. I know most of the people were there for my granddaughter’s wedding, but a few were there for a Milwaukee Brewers World Series game.

Milwaukee has a population of 1.58 million. I saw about half of them. Chewbacca is from Milwookee.

The Best Place at the Historic Pabst Brewery hosted the groom’s supper. Another famous landmark; it commemorates the Pabst legacy through architecture reflecting its German heritage, inviting visitors to say “Prost” instead of “Cheers.” Jacob Best owned a brewery in Darmstadt, Germany, before political oppression caused him to uproot his family and travel to America. They settled in Milwaukee and opened the Jacob Best Brewing Company in 1844, brewing a popular lager called “Best Select.” Frederick Pabst, another German immigrant, married Phillip Best’s daughter. The company name was changed to “Pabst” in 1889. In 1893, after winning awards, Pabst Select Beer was renamed Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. It paused brewing beer and switched to cheese production during Prohibition (1920 to 1933). Beer sales declined to the point that the flagship brewery in Milwaukee closed in 1996. The Best Place food was toothsome — red cabbage, sauerkraut, spaetzle, pretzel, cream puff, bratwurst, knackwurst, German potato salad, chicken schnitzel and a salad to make it a healthy meal.

At the wedding in Mequon, I remembered when my granddaughter was a grade school basketball player. She stole the ball each time the opposing team tried to pass it in from out of bounds. The referee asked her to let them pass the ball in and not steal it. She agreed, but she enjoyed playing defense too much. Not everyone likes playing defense. It’s hard work. She continued to steal the ball but immediately handed the basketball back to the player she swiped it from. I knew then and there that she was someone who worked hard and was kind.

The wedding reception was at South Second, an event center honoring its industrial heritage.

The best man’s speech said something like this: “This is what happens when an All-American basketball player on the 2024 National Championship team and a mediocre tight end fall in love.”

There was more food. Nobody was on the brink of starvation. The officiant left after eating because he didn’t want to be away from the Brewers game for too long. I couldn’t eat over a sink, so I ended up with a little gravy on my necktie. Unintended consequences of an epicurean delight.

The wedding dance was as loud as an NBA championship game. Late came early. We took an Uber to the hotel. The Uber’s music was louder than an NBA championship game.

On the drive home from Milwaukee, we became an involuntary float in a long parade led down a busy two-lane highway by a John Deere farm combine. How long were we stuck in the traffic jam? Longer than it takes a dentist to do a crown. I couldn’t see the lead car or the last car in line. We moseyed along at 15 mph or slower, making good time had we been walking.

I didn’t complain. I was filled with love for the newlyweds, but when the combine turned onto a gravel road, there was applause in our car.

The combine carried no sign saying, “How’s my driving?”

It was your typical car-combine chase with no bad guys.

The Brewers won, and so did I.