“Fasten your seatbelts; it’s going to be a bumpy night.” That famous line, often misquoted as “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride,” was spoken by a past-her-prime actress with a flair for drama named Margo Channing, played by Bette Davis, in the movie “All About Eve,” released in 1950. The film was based on the 1946 short story “The Wisdom of Eve” by Mary … [Read more...]

You grew up in a weird family. Everyone did. The International Order of the Wacky and Quirky Rulemakers created most of the rules, but each family was given considerable latitude in making or changing rules for the weirder. Most people can remember bringing a significant other home to meet the family. That was stress-inducing. Much preparation was required to cover all … [Read more...]

If you find a quiet place, lean in and listen hard, you’ll hear a reverberating sound. It’s produced by multitudes clicking on “Forgot your password?” A friend said, “I used to be able to remember all my passwords.” He was a friend, so I didn’t reply, “That’s because you had no passwords to remember in your used-to-be days.” He griped that each time he changed a … [Read more...]

Graduates remember everything a speaker says as, “Blah, blah, blah.” I was at a graduation ceremony during a high school’s last roundup. The institution was down to its final three graduates. The salutatorian gave a talk before the valedictorian did her spiel. The one I was there to see grab a diploma didn’t give a speech. I knew where his class ranking was – last. He … [Read more...]

His handwritten works featured jittery penmanship. But it’s no wonder Honoré de Balzac was prolific. He published scores of novels, novellas, plays and short stories. The author had ink in his blood, but his blood might have been nothing but coffee. Whether it’s legend or simply internet malarkey, I’ve read that he drank 50 cups of coffee a day – 51 cups when he needed an … [Read more...]

I’d promised myself I wouldn’t cry. And I didn’t shed a tear at winter’s passing. It had no last words. My fath-er’s last dying word was “Robert.” Robert was my uncle, my father’s brother, who had died as a young man. They were close. When I was a boy, my elders told me of someone who had said “Hello” with his last dying breath. I believed them. With all the … [Read more...]

I needed to be getting ready when I heard the bubbly, gurgling sounds made by a purple martin in our home. It wasn’t an actual bird, but the authentic recorded sound of a purple martin coming from a bird clock. My father-in-law gave me one that lasted over 30 years. My wife gave me a replacement clock last year. The purple martin sounds off at 8. I was off to see the … [Read more...]

Oh, I zigs and I zags, I to’s and I fro’s. That’s what I was doing. I recall Brer Rabbit saying that’s what he was doing with all his time in the  controversial film, “Song of the South.”  I usually help my wife while she shops by staying close to the shopping cart. I excel at that essential task, but I was granted an exemption because of all the zigging and zagging to … [Read more...]

“How is life treating you?” a friendly caller asked, just checking in with me. It wasn’t. I had to pay for everything. And nothing cost 5 or 10 cents. My moth-er and my aunts often referenced Five and Dime Stores, also known as variety stores, which were retail stores that offered a wide selection of low-priced merchandise. Frank Woolworth opened the country’s first … [Read more...]

I enjoy walking to the mailbox. It’s a pleasant task. I also enjoy visiting the recycling bins conveniently located behind Hartland University, the local dispensary of adult beverages, whose Facebook post during a recent March thunder blizzard (Thunder, wind and snow – woohoo!) read: “Hartland University will be open and on time today. All classes will be in person; no … [Read more...]