By Al Batt “Much obliged.” I said that as I paid a big bill that caused me to clench my teeth. I said that because the person grabbing my hard-earned money hadn’t mumbled a “thank you.” My mother told me I could never thank anyone too much. Such an appreciation conveys gratitude. It lets someone know that I’m not taking them for granted. A lady who was vertically … [Read more...]

It’s not rated “E” for everyone. I’ve been told the world runs on coffee and bad decisions. Sip, sip, hooray! People drink coffee with such gusto and delight, I have an urge to drink it. Then I remember the taste. How do I like my coffee? I don’t. It won’t dent the coffee table economy, but I don’t drink coffee. All my taste buds, except Maynard, find coffee … [Read more...]

I looked for toad feathers. The unexpected is expected in 2020, so this might be the year to find toad feathers. The year has provided a bag of mental pretzels. Some folks wish 2020 would hurry to an end. I’m not one who wants to grease the skids for its getaway as I don’t want to wish away a minute of my life. As a boy, I wished for Saturdays. My mother warned me not to … [Read more...]

We took no vacations. We had to make good time going home from a family gathering because we didn’t have a good time taking vacations. My father drove. My mother rode shotgun. I sat in the backseat, as a free-range child not constrained by a seatbelt because there was no seatbelt there. I counted things I saw out the window — cows, dogs, tractors and pheasants. I tried to see … [Read more...]

The temperature dropped as if it had spotted a State Patrol squad car. Then something landed in my yard. It was no mere bird. October 1 was the day I saw the first dark-eyed junco of the fall migrated into in my yard. I like juncos. I practice an appreciation for birds, but I was reminded of something Dr. Seuss wrote, “How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before it’s … [Read more...]

I remember it being the year after all the needles had fallen off the tree three days before Christmas. I was at a family reunion smaller than Rhode Island. They were talking of past glitter and petty schemes. They were my family’s elders. I’d guess their average age had been about 104 years. Judging by their wild and weedy eyebrows, none of them were narcissists. I enjoyed … [Read more...]

You picked up the phone and you hoped for the best. That’s how it was before everything went to voicemail. I’d returned to the big city after a daring rescue mission to free food from my parents’ pantry. I’d opened my apartment door to a ringing telephone. It was a friend who was working out of town. We played basketball together. He said he thought he’d left the keys in his … [Read more...]

Sanctimonious senators! It’s that time again. I’m taking a break from a life of unbridled ecstasy to make this important announcement. If you’re the kind who notices things, and I’ll bet you are, you know an election is coming. I lost my mood ring, so I don’t know how I feel about that. Everyone already at the top wants to go even higher. The election started about four years … [Read more...]

It was a beautiful day for a morning. I was sauntering down a gravel road when a pickup truck towing a boat pulled up. The brakes squeaked in protest. The driver turned off the engine of his dented and duct-taped vehicle. It dieseled for a minute before ending in a loud backfire. The driver of that rusty steed was my neighbor Crandall, who said through an open window … [Read more...]