What’s your favorite part of living where you do? How would you describe where you live in a single sentence? Did you mention the weather in your second answer but not the first? Someone from southern Alabama called and offered me a writing gig. He asked about the weather. That’s obligatory. I told him I was putting the skis on my rocking chair. A caller from … [Read more...]

I put my car into reverse. That took me back. I thought about dog names. I’d been listening to an audiobook that mentioned a dog’s name. Bella and Max are the most popular names for dogs today. I’ve been fortunate to hang out with a good number of dogs during my existence but none of whom were named Bella or Max. The reverse gear took me to a day before Christmas back … [Read more...]

By Al Batt I woke up one morning. That’ was the good part. I woke up and realized I had too much junk and I’m the only one who wants the junk I don’t want anymore. Let me clarify that: I’m the only person in the world who ever wanted my junk and I no longer want it. That didn’t give me a euphoric feeling, but discernment doesn’t come just for my beatitude. Everyone in my … [Read more...]

This year it’s turkey, stuffing and masked potatoes. I remember another rough patch at Thanksgiving back when Grandma was still living. We had a small turkey that year. There was a message tied to one of its legs. She didn’t worry about finding the perfect turkey. She knew it didn’t exist. James Beard, the late chef, said, “Food is our common ground, a universal … [Read more...]

The first vehicle I fell in love with wasn’t a Corvette or a Mustang. It was a bookmobile. I miss libraries. I know some are open, but the ones I haunt offer limited services. I still get books, but I do so without entering a library. My screen had gone wavy, so I knew it was a flashback to a day in high school, back when girls introduced me to their mothers, “This is Al … [Read more...]

By Al Batt “Yeah, well, you know, that’s just like, your opinion, man.” The Dude said that in The Big Lebowski. I enjoy movies that make me laugh. I was almost in a movie when I appeared with the famous producer, director and Opie, Ron Howard — or a guy who looked like him — in the same airport. And I sat next to a massive St. Bernard in a movie theater. What was the dog … [Read more...]

By Al Batt “Much obliged.” I said that as I paid a big bill that caused me to clench my teeth. I said that because the person grabbing my hard-earned money hadn’t mumbled a “thank you.” My mother told me I could never thank anyone too much. Such an appreciation conveys gratitude. It lets someone know that I’m not taking them for granted. A lady who was vertically … [Read more...]

It’s not rated “E” for everyone. I’ve been told the world runs on coffee and bad decisions. Sip, sip, hooray! People drink coffee with such gusto and delight, I have an urge to drink it. Then I remember the taste. How do I like my coffee? I don’t. It won’t dent the coffee table economy, but I don’t drink coffee. All my taste buds, except Maynard, find coffee … [Read more...]

I looked for toad feathers. The unexpected is expected in 2020, so this might be the year to find toad feathers. The year has provided a bag of mental pretzels. Some folks wish 2020 would hurry to an end. I’m not one who wants to grease the skids for its getaway as I don’t want to wish away a minute of my life. As a boy, I wished for Saturdays. My mother warned me not to … [Read more...]

We took no vacations. We had to make good time going home from a family gathering because we didn’t have a good time taking vacations. My father drove. My mother rode shotgun. I sat in the backseat, as a free-range child not constrained by a seatbelt because there was no seatbelt there. I counted things I saw out the window — cows, dogs, tractors and pheasants. I tried to see … [Read more...]