It was time for me to get my fairs in order. Don’t follow the masses. Sometimes the “m” is silent. That was the advice I was given years back without asking for it. I ignored it and followed the masses to a county fair. Fairgrounds aren’t mediocre coffee. There is something for everyone unless you are someone for whom nothing is good enough. You can find complete gutter … [Read more...]
The first motorcycle in the township
We learn to live in a new way each new day. I’m part of the generation that’s afraid of quicksand. I’ve never seen quicksand, but I witnessed its treachery in plenty of old black and white movies. It was a standard trope in the old action films featuring jungles. I watched the enemies of Tarzan, dastardly fellows, fall prey to quicksand. It made a good story. I love it … [Read more...]
Finding fine times during bad times
We are experiencing high call volume. That’s what the telephonic voice said. I was wearing a weather-beaten rain poncho as I punched the speaker button on my phone. I needed the poncho because I was eating a juicy, South Carolina peach that made my taste buds dance the South Carolina Shag. The voice said, “We are experiencing high call volume. All our customer service … [Read more...]
I’ve drawn a line in the sandwich
I was careful to look one way before crossing the road. I pulled the Sunday newspaper from our rural mailbox. It was about my size, but I lugged it to my father who read the comics to me. The funny papers were a wonderland of color and wit. My father added sound effects. He brought “Dennis the Menace,” “Marmaduke,” “Peanuts,” “Beetle Bailey,” “Henry,” “Ferd’nand,” “Mark Trail” … [Read more...]
Stupidity isn’t an Olympic event yet
I felt like Ninny the Pooh. I’d called a friend by his brother’s name. Twice. How did I get so stupid? I didn’t study for it. I’ve said dumber things. This brain cramp barely moves the needle on the stupidity scale, but it annoyed me. I should be used to it because as soon as we can form words, we’ve said something stupid enough to hear crickets chirping. I was in … [Read more...]
Grappling with the complexities of 365 seasons annually
The chill is gone. Summer begins when the last snowman melts. It can’t be summer already. Summer was just here. We’re finding our way back to things. It helps if the weather is a little better than just OK – lovely green and blue days with grasses swaying in the gentle breeze. Those days cause me to consider E. B. White who wrote, “I arise in the morning torn between a … [Read more...]
Life is like a jigsaw puzzle only way different
I was so tired, I had to do the dishes in bed. My morning had begun in a garage where his noises were funnier than those made by my car. The mechanic leaned on the fender as he jiggled things under the hood. He smiled as if the exercise provided a modicum of excitement. Maybe it was a grimace or gas. He was one of those guys who spends an unlimited amount of time to achieve … [Read more...]
A stampeding swarm of Yosemite Sams
Awwww. I heard it while I was working in the basement. My wife was upstairs, seated at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper. I knew that sound. I’ve heard it often during our married life. It wasn’t an “aww” that expressed delight as in, “Aww. What a cute baby.” It wasn’t the “aww” that expressed mild disappointment as when a pitcher … [Read more...]
I felt as if I were wearing burlap underwear
It was hot enough to complain about everything. I’d completed compulsory mechanical work. I’d put a rear end in a recliner. The heat had stalled the clock at noon. The hands had become motionless. Hot weather is more of a stick than a carrot. Hot weather bangs us about. People wilted in the sun. Swimming pools boiled. Ice cream trucks and plastic flamingos melted. It was … [Read more...]
Good luck finding good luck
I was talking to a Billiken on a shelf. The Billiken is a chubby, comic, charm doll/figure given to me by a tour group to Alaska, where natives render Billikens in carvings as good luck charms. To buy a Billiken gives the purchaser luck, but to have one given to you is better luck. The Billiken is a mythical good-luck figure who represents “things as they ought to be” and … [Read more...]