I was careful to look one way before crossing the road. I pulled the Sunday newspaper from our rural mailbox. It was about my size, but I lugged it to my father who read the comics to me. The funny papers were a wonderland of color and wit. My father added sound effects. He brought “Dennis the Menace,” “Marmaduke,” “Peanuts,” “Beetle Bailey,” “Henry,” “Ferd’nand,” “Mark Trail” … [Read more...]

I felt like Ninny the Pooh. I’d called a friend by his brother’s name. Twice. How did I get so stupid? I didn’t study for it. I’ve said dumber things. This brain cramp barely moves the needle on the stupidity scale, but it annoyed me. I should be used to it because as soon as we can form words, we’ve said something stupid enough to hear crickets chirping. I was in … [Read more...]

The chill is gone. Summer begins when the last snowman melts. It can’t be summer already. Summer was just here. We’re finding our way back to things. It helps if the weather is a little better than just OK – lovely green and blue days with grasses swaying in the gentle breeze. Those days cause me to consider E. B. White who wrote, “I arise in the morning torn between a … [Read more...]

I was so tired, I had to do the dishes in bed. My morning had begun in a garage where his noises were funnier than those made by my car. The mechanic leaned on the fender as he jiggled things under the hood. He smiled as if the exercise provided a modicum of excitement. Maybe it was a grimace or gas. He was one of those guys who spends an unlimited amount of time to achieve … [Read more...]

I was talking to a Billiken on a shelf.  The Billiken is a chubby, comic, charm doll/figure given to me by a tour group to Alaska, where natives render Billikens in carvings as good luck charms. To buy a Billiken gives the purchaser luck, but to have one given to you is better luck. The Billiken is a mythical good-luck figure who represents “things as they ought to be” and … [Read more...]

Humans are always bucking a headwind. We teeter precariously on the edge of the world. We not only don’t know things, we don’t know most things. Our talents lie in suspecting things. There are three kinds of people; those who can count and those who can’t. Most of us can count to three on our fingers. I find the rule of three is important in my life. A list of three … [Read more...]

I’m just browsing.  That’s what I’d say if I ever surprised a grizzly bear that was carrying an assault rifle, right after it bumped its painful bruin bunion against a birch stump. Fortunately, I’ve never surprised a grizzly bear that was carrying an assault rifle, right after it had bumped its painful bruin bunion against a birch stump. I’m a chronic walker. Not Walker, … [Read more...]

I spent time in the produce department trying to open a plastic bag.  Why don’t people eat more fresh fruit and vegetables? It’s because of those irritating plastic produce bags. My fingers finessed the bag open and I filled it. Fueled by a shopping list, I pushed my cart to other parts of the store with a vroom, vroom! It was a masterful performance. Academy … [Read more...]

My sheepskin had a tail. That tells you where I ranked in the class, but I’m giving a graduation speech in my dreams. I’ll talk about what I know. I’ll be brief. I’m from a generation far, far away. I missed my first day of school and am still trying to catch up, but here I am. You’ll never again chant, “It’s all right. It’s OK. You’ll be working for us one day,” after … [Read more...]

She was the last to know it was raining. I headed home from somewhere. Somewhere else someone had said, “Rain, rain go away, come again another day.” This was another day. The windshield wiper activity made me think of my mother. She was the shortest one in my extended family. I teased she was the last to know when it was raining. I was a foot taller than my mother when she … [Read more...]

I met the day with the wonder of a Labrador puppy. I walked down the trail at Brookside Park. I was a happy camper after seeing a couple of yellow-crowned night herons, hearing barred owls calling and finding a debit card lost by someone named Laura. There were a couple of sheriff’s deputies pulling their boat out of the channel. I gave the lost card to them. I’d finished … [Read more...]

What’s all the yellowing about? It’s about American goldfinches. They are turning a brilliant yellow. Dandelions are spring to some folks. The yellowing of spring. Is a group of dandelions called a pride? Mark Twain said, “In the spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.” It’s good to see turkey vultures back and checking the expiration … [Read more...]