I stopped in my tracks as I read the sobering words; “It’s habits that can imprison you and it’s habits that can free you,” declared author Ann Voskamp. Which is it for me, I wondered. Both options are pretty extreme in my opinion. Imprisonment or freedom? And the choice lies within my habits? Could it be true?
During my 12-year-old family Christmas, my 19-year-old cousin gave me the oddest advice of my life. “Never start this,” he warned, as he desperately inhaled one of many cigarettes he would light that night. “I wish someone would have told me,” he exhaled, smoke billowing from his mouth. “This isn’t good for you,” he bemoaned, as he resignedly sucked the next puff of smoke into his lungs. “Then why not stop?” I wondered. Not understanding the death grip of nicotine, it was a puzzling conversation for my young mind.
If you hate what you’re doing, why are you still doing it?
Unfortunately, I could stand to ask my adult self that same question. I may not be addicted to smoking, but what things would I warn 12-year-old me against? Wouldn’t it be interesting to be able to give yourself advice?! What would it be for you?
Recently, I was listening to a minimalist talk about how to have a more joy-filled Holiday season. If you’re like me, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet and you’re already pre-stressing on Christmas. It’s a little “gift” I give myself every year: Crippling self doubt and anxiety over never being “enough” for those around me. It really makes the season bright.
The minimalist asked a simple question that gave me great pause. “In this season,” she said, “ask yourself, ‘what do I want more of, and what do I want less of?’” (Side note: I hate it when such simple things can be so life altering. Makes me feel so dense. But, I guess it does give me hope that the solution doesn’t have to be difficult.)
My answer? I want less of everything that has become normal! I’ve normalized stress, over commitment, over thinking, over gifting, over extending, and then I’m supposed to enjoy the season? Fat chance, momma. It’s not going to happen.
What if we normalized the opposite? What if our habits really were the difference between imprisonment and freedom? What if we warned our 12-year-old selves and changed the trajectory of our lives?
One thing I would warn little Liz about is being ungrateful. It’s so easy to do. Just like lighting up the first cigarette. You don’t understand the grip it can have on you. Ungratefulness is socially acceptable, relationally common, and widely encouraged. You can be ungrateful all day long and no one will call the police. It feels good on the lips, but poisons the insides.
What if we warned ourselves to not allow the ungrateful poison? How might life be different? How might this holiday season be different? Ann Voskamp’s website cites some jaw-dropping studies on thankfulness. Those who practice thankfulness:
- Have a relative absence of stress and depression. (Woods et al., 2008)
- Make progress towards important personal goals (Emmons and McCullough, 2003)
- Report higher levels of determination and energy (Emmons and McCullough, 2003)
- Feel closer in their relationships and desire to build stronger relationships (Algoe and Haidt, 2009)
- Increase their happiness by 25% – (McCullough et al., 2002)
Just think if that could be the narrative of this holiday season! Imagine it: “In this busy season, (place your name here) had a relative absence of stress and depression, she progressed toward her personal goals, she had higher levels of determination and energy, she felt closer in her relationships and she was 25% happier. Wowie!
All of that from one “simple” gratitude practice? Seems too good to be true. But I’m here to suggest it’s worth it. I’m here to invite us to put down the cigarette and “stop doing the things we hate.” Voskamp publishes what she calls the Joy Dare, which is a simple list to help her readers practice gratitude. What if your holiday season needs the simple practice of gratitude in order to be the best one yet?
I’m up for trying it! I printed off Voskamp’s free Joy Dare Calendar and it now hangs on my fridge. Everyday, through the holidays, I am practicing gratitude because something has to shift my habits. I’m not interested in being imprisoned by ingratitude.
Want to join me? Print a free Joy Dare at annvoskamp.com/joy-dares and let’s do this together because “It’s habits that can imprison you and it’s habits that can free you!”
Meet your farmer – Liz Gerdes. She and her husband run a farm-to-table Raw Milk dairy and farm Airbnb in Caledonia. If you’re looking for raw milk fresh from the farm, visit gerdesfreshfarm.com or follow her on Facebook @gerdesfreshfarm or Instagram @gerdesliz for more info.
Creamy Parmesan Italian Beef Soup
For Italian beef:
1 lb ground beef
1 tsp. fennel seed
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. ground coriander
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. paprika
1/4 tsp. black pepper
1/8 – 1/4 tsp. crushed
red pepper
For soup:
1 Tbsp. olive oil
1 small onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
4 c. chicken broth bone broth
1 can (14.5 oz.) diced tomatoes
1 c. heavy cream
1 c. grated Parmesan cheese
2 c. baby spinach
1 tsp. Italian seasoning
Salt and pepper to taste
In a large pot, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add ground beef and sausage seasonings and cook until browned, breaking it up with a spoon.
Add chopped onion and minced garlic to the pot, and cook until the onion is translucent, about 3-4 minutes.
Pour in the chicken broth and diced tomatoes, and bring to a simmer.
Stir in heavy cream, grated Parmesan cheese, and Italian seasoning. Simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add baby spinach and cook until wilted, about 2 minutes.
Season with salt and pepper to taste.
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