Ok, this is a departure for me, but I like experiments. This column (following my intro) was ENTIRELY written by an Artificial Intelligence interaction on Microsoft Copilot. I did not change a single word. I did not write a single word! I did NOT provide the recipe. I asked for a humorous story about a boy named Timmy making spicy chili, and to please include a recipe. That’s all.
The first recipe was hamburger so I told the “Bot” to change it to pork. The first recipe looked mildly spicy to me so I asked “can you make it spicier, hotter, and more flavorful?” It was a little wordy so I said, “please keep it to 500 words or less” so I could include my introduction here. A three-minute interaction and couple of requests and my column was done.
Don’t get me wrong, this is not my style and will not be how I write future columns! Just thought I would share this peculiar interaction with our future. And as a connoisseur of sorts when it comes to chili, I admit it looks pretty dang good! Enjoy:
Most kids build forts. Some collect Pokémon cards. But Timmy? Timmy made chili.
At just 8 years old, he’d already sworn allegiance to the spicy arts. It started after a camping trip where his dad made “Blazing Dad Chili,” which Timmy promptly described as “ketchup with a grudge.” That night, he set out to make chili that would land him in the Culinary Hall of Flame.
One Saturday morning, Timmy stormed into the kitchen, tied on his Avengers apron, and declared, “Initiate Operation Hog Heatwave.”
“Need help?” asked his mom.
“Nope. Just keep a glass of milk handy in case someone bursts into flames.”
Timmy laid out his ingredients like a wizard prepping a potion:
Timmy’s Blazing Pork Chili
1 tablespoon olive oil
1½ lbs pork shoulder, cubed
1 yellow onion, diced
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 can (15 oz) black beans, drained
1 can (14 oz) fire-roasted diced tomatoes
1 can (6 oz) tomato paste
2 teaspoons chili powder
1½ teaspoons smoked paprika
1 teaspoon cumin
½ teaspoon cinnamon
1½ teaspoons salt
½ teaspoon cayenne
1 chipotle pepper in adobo + 1 tablespoon sauce
1 diced jalapeño (or two, if you’re fearless)
2½ cups chicken broth
With Mom watching from the safety zone (behind the fridge), Timmy browned the pork in oil until it looked like treasure. He added onions and garlic, stirring like a TV chef mid-monologue: “Let these flavors marry, but not elope.”
Then went the tomatoes, beans, tomato paste, and every fiery spice in his arsenal. That pinch of cinnamon? His signature twist. The chipotle and jalapeño? Pure swagger.
The pot simmered for 90 minutes, slowly transforming into a bubbling cauldron of glory. The smell? Smoky, rich, and so spicy the family dog sneezed in the hallway.
Finally, it was go time. Timmy ladled the chili into bowls, added pepper jack cheese, and crowned it all with a lime wedge. He took a spoonful.
Tender pork. Bold heat. Deep smoky flavor. It was warm, it was wild – it was victory in a bowl.
“This,” he said dramatically, “is volcano magic.”
Mom’s eyes watered, but she nodded through the heat. “Timmy… this is actually incredible.”
He scribbled the updated recipe on an index card and slapped it on the fridge next to his drawing of a chili pepper in sunglasses with a cape.
From then on, cold weekends were no longer “chilly” – they were Timmy Chili Time.
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