Don’t Settle for the Postcard
I know you’ve seen it. That postcard that makes you long to be at the beach. As our Minnesota winter starts to rev up, the feeling in my toes and fingers starts to go away. My aunt, who grew up on the farm, says, “Winter means pain.” The cold gets in and likes to stay. That’s where the postcard comes in. It’s bright, with blue water, white sand, and green palm trees. It looks as though an hour on that beach might hold back the tide of winter just a little bit longer or at least I could feel my numb toes wiggle in the sand.
Recently, I took a trip to that postcard. Long story short, last winter, my kids came home from Grandma and Grandpa’s house with tales of an island in the Bahamas where we HAD to go. Through their persuasive powers and determination, I found myself afloat in the waters of the Caribbean. (Not that it took much persuasion)
While tasting the salty sea and soaking in the sun, I was amazed at the beauty surrounding me; the sparkling sun on the clear blue water, the perfect palm trees hanging over the pure white sandy beach, kids hunting for coconuts like lost treasure, and my one-year-old splashing with delight in the calm water.
Have I made you jealous yet?
The postcard that we’ve all seen was a faint glimmer of the real thing.
Is it enough to just look at the postcard? Can I taste the ocean from there?
Looking at a picture is a sorry replacement for actually experiencing it with my kids.
In November, I had the privilege of officiating a friend’s wedding. On the day of the wedding, there were a lot of promises made. Declarations of future love and faithfulness. But is that marriage? Or is that the post card?
If we think that marriage is about the wedding day or if we think that all it takes to make a good marriage is declarations and the beautiful ceremony when we’re overflowing with that “lovin’ feelin,” then we might as well settle to wiggling our toes in the snow as we gaze into that tropical postcard.
Just like my toes in the snow have lost their feelin’, an unintentional marriage WILL likewise lose that lovin’ feelin’.
What would it look like to move beyond the postcard?
What if the intentions, promises, and declarations of the ceremony were just a dim snapshot?
What would it look like to have a marriage that lives out the ideals set forth in that ceremony?
So let’s go on a trip.
At the Weekend to Remember Marriage conference, they say that every marriage is either paddling towards oneness or drifting towards isolation. There is no static marriage. Which direction is your boat heading? Are you taking the vows and intentions you so confidently declared in your postcard ceremony and turning the ship or did your vows drift away?
I like to say the smallest action is better than the greatest intention.
I once knew a guy (true story) who said that he told his wife that he loved her on their wedding and he would let her know if it changed… meaning he didn’t find the need to tell her again since then. His intentions were that he loved her… but his actions were showing otherwise.
What if he took those intentions and just made one single action?
Maybe just three words. I – love – you. Maybe a gift planned and given. Maybe a project done that they’ve been talking about. Maybe a few hours carved out for quality time. Maybe hold her hand.
Sydney Harris says that “almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.”
Nothing could be further from reality. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.
The smallest action is greater than the greatest intention.
Don’t settle for looking at the postcard.
Do the thing that makes the difference to your spouse.
Meet your farmer – Jonathan Gerdes. He and his wife run a farm-to-table raw milk dairy in Caledonia, Minn. If he isn’t in the barn, you can find him dating his wife, playing with his kids, leading youth group, or flying in the sky. Visit gerdesfreshfarm.com for more info.
Morning Glory Muffins
3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup shredded sweetened coconut
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1 cup grated zucchini wrung out
2 cups grated carrot
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup maple syrup
3 large eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla
Preheat oven to 350º. Line muffin tins with paper liners and set aside.
In a large bowl, whisk sugar, flour, cinnamon, baking soda, salt, coconut and walnuts until combined. Stir in zucchini and carrots Create a well in the center of the dry ingredients and add in the wet ingredients. Whisk the wet ingredients together and then start to incorporate the dry into the wet using a rubber spatula until just combined. Scoop into prepared tins and bake 25-35 minutes or until a toothpick comes out with a few moist crumbs. Cool 7 minutes in the pan and then transfer to a cooling rack.
Store in an airtight container for up to 3 days OR freeze for up to 2 months.
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