I thought it was just a cramp
This article is way overdue as it seems that many of my friends have had a few medical issues lately and it makes me wonder at what point does it become more than a cramp? The growing old starts gradually but then it can hit you like a cement truck! For instance, how old were you when you ran or walked your first mile since fifth grade and were certain that through the sweat and panting you have lost a bone out of your leg but the smiling doctor said no, it is just a cramp. Or what about the time in your 30s when you jumped off the third stair and thought for sure that you broke every bone in your foot and probably need to be casted but the smiling doctor said it is simply a stress fracture caused by excess weight you are carrying. Most embarrassing would be trying yoga for the first time in your 40s and by your self-diagnosis have pulled many muscles and possibly ripped a tendon but, alas, the smiling doctor states you actually had a cramp. And, lastly, hoping you can relate to “getting down” at a wedding dance where you danced to every ‘80s hair band song (with the help of a little wine) and find that the next day there is nothing broken but your swollen ankles, sore neck, and aching feet are your own fault and that no child really wants to see their “mom” head banging to AC/DC.
The suspected medical issues become real, however, when the illness involves my husband. For example, the scary time (smile) my husband swore he had a lipoma on his arm after watching too much of a certain TV show about patients with skin diseases, but his smiling wife said it was certainly just a mosquito bite – two weeks later and daily monitoring of the area – yes, it was indeed simply a mosquito bite. I am going to have to stop there because my hubby is the biggest worry wart and could fill the rest of this column with us Googling his symptoms only to find out it is not a catastrophic disease.
However, there is a point in time which is probably around my age now, when you WISH that what you have is just a cramp! Second most embarrassing situation is putting on a hooded sweatshirt on and ending up in the emergency room hours later with back spasms like none other and needing a wonderful dose of morphine to calm the situation. There is also the day you thought you for sure had bad cramps only to find out it is a kidney stone and so big you will need a surgical procedure to remove. And, lastly, to add fuel to the “you are getting old” fire, can any of you sleep wrong on your arm and have constant pain for the next month? Yep. How many of you at my age have a chiropractors or massage therapists in your cell phone contacts? Ha! All I know is that if I win the lottery there will be a foot masseuse at my house on the daily!
Stay active, eat well, and live your best life. Now that you know all of my most embarrassing moments, what are yours?
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