Was it really considered a compliment to be compared to Poland China hogs? It was unexplained why Caledonia “rooters” were so enthused about a contest between Spring Grove and Houston. However, more than a century ago, Houston County writers were able to describe an ordinary local event with enough embellishment of the English language, exaggeration and humor to hopefully elicit a chuckle or two from readers, who may not have possessed any interest in the subject.
One anonymous Houston newspaper writer managed to incorporate band music, pigs, Indian war whoops, a Caledonia clothier, people perched on railroad tracks and financial woes into one article about one baseball game played by a hometown championship team. Apparently, punctuation was of no concern, but overstatement and a flourish of phrase was paramount in this October 10, 1903, article in the Houston Valley Tribune (Houston, Minn.). However, there was an uninspired title for an immensely imaginative text. For clarity, 21st century punctuation has been added:
Photo courtesy of the Houston County Historical Society
Sporting Notes
“In the presence of at least a million fans and with Caledonia’s “band” furnishing excellent music, the Spring Grove Clothiers fell easy victim to the superior prowess of the Houston Browns on the Caledonia diamond last Sunday, the score being, 10 to 6.
“The features of the game were errors, good plays, kicks and rooting. And when it comes to rooting, it is with gratitude we raise our caps to Caledonia and give them credit for being full blood Poland Chinas when the rest are scrubs.
“Eiken, as usual, threw a very strong game, retiring twelve men at the plate and allowing but three scattered hits.
“Schwartzhoff threw a good game up to the seventh inning, when alas, I poor Billy goes up, up, up and during the seventh and eighth innings, Houston’s hits were as plentiful as were the yells of Caledonia’s rooters.
“The game was interesting from the start, and from the moment the braves let out their war cry until the band at first quieted down as a signal that the game was won, was fiercely contested.
“Houston made 13 safe hits. The ball boys wish to tender their thanks to Fuos, Caledonia’s clothing merchant, for services rendered at the gate.
“On Thursday, the last game on home grounds will be played with the La Crosse Browns. As the team is behind financially, it is hoped that a large crowd will turn out and that the railroad track will not be crowded enough to stop trains. A good game is expected. Come.
“On next Sunday, the team will play at La Crosse with the La Crosse Browns and then retire for the season to talk over their past games, smiling at their victories and frowning at their defeats.”
Another example of baseball humor came before a game was played. This flier from La Crescent does not identify the year, but July 4 occurred on a Tuesday in 1899, 1905, 1911, 1922, 1923 and 1929, etc.
BASEBALL TUESDAY, JULY 4
La Crescet versus Coamo Team of La Crosse
“This team is the best amateur club in the city, and has employed ‘Rube’ Waddell to pitch this game. For the home team, ‘Polly’ Smith will throw the ball, while ‘Link’ Atkinson will catch(?it), ‘Arty’ Post will play second and the rest of the stars will be on their toes when Mr. Umpire Addis Adolphus Luther calls ‘play ball’ promptly at 2:01 p.m. The Mayor will not pitch the first ball but will deliver an address on ‘The Woman and the Paradol.’ The best of order will prevail as in the absence of our constable, who at present is ‘Broncho Sore,’ Messrs. Mark M. Smith and Albert E. Wilson have been deputized to run everybody and everything in.
“The evening sports will include an exhibition by one of our local horsemen, who will use Dell Gurley, Jr.’s horse as as a subject, also a debate between several of our prominent citizens on “The Pleasant Features of a New School House.”
“All kinds of refreshments will be sold, including Water, Peanuts and Red Pop will be served.
“All stay at home and help the boys furnish entertainment on a day when we ALL can enjoy it.”
Lee Epps was the highest ranking, history department graduate at Oklahoma State University in 1967.
Dan O'Brien says
re: This flier from La Crescent does not identify the year, but July 4 occurred on a Tuesday in 1899, 1905, 1911, 1922, 1923 and 1929, etc.
The La Crosse Tribune, Wednesday, July 5, 1905
“New North Side Team Defeats La Crescent
“A new team recently organized in La Crosse under the name of the Coamos went to La Crescent yesterday and defeated the latter team. Frank Smith of the La Crescent team struck out 17 men of the Coamo team.”
Dan O'Brien says
The La Crosse Tribune
Wednesday, July 5, 1905
New North Side Team Defeats La Crescent
A new team recently organized in La Crosse under the name of the Coamos went to La Crescent yesterday and defeated the latter team. Frank Smith of the La Crescent team struck out 17 men of the Coamo team.
The score:
Coamos . . . . . . 0 0 0 0 0 0 4 0 0 – 4
La Crescent . . .0 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 – 2
Batteries – Coamos, Bates and Nelson. La Crescent, Smith and Post.
[on July 4, 1905, Rube Waddell was with the Philadelphia Athletics in Boston, where Rube and Cy Young both went the distance in a 20-inning game, the second of a doubleheader]
La Crosse Tribune
Wednesday, May 23, 1906
COAMO TEAM NOW THE “ALERTS”
The old Coamo baseball team has reorganized and will in the future play under the name of the Alerts.