What are we teaching our kids?
I recently attended both seventh and eighth grade girls basketball games in a school district in a land not-so-far away. At this event, I witnessed something quite disappointing.
Much to my dismay, the referees didn’t appear to care about the safety of the players. They rarely called fouls, charging, traveling, or double-dribble. As I said to one parent sitting in front of me, “This is like watching MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) basketball.”
It wasn’t good for two primary reasons: 1) The referees didn’t do a good job of maintaining order, which meant that players were at risk of injury, 2) The way the game was managed didn’t really encourage what I consider good basketball skills. If you were capable of throwing elbows, slamming into your opponent (like a hockey player), and slapping the heck out of them, you might win control of the ball. Is that the way we play basketball?
Within the past couple years, this particular school district has refereed games that have resulted in at least one player experiencing a concussion. From parents who were at that game, I heard that the referees let the game get out of hand.
From my perspective, the two best referees I have watched oversee a basketball game are Dick Irish and Gary Feine. This duo is consistent, fair, and they will stop a game to teach the kids the fundamentals of the game when they make a mistake.
I have observed some other great referees over the years, so it’s not just Mr. Irish and Mr. Feine who deserve accolades. After most games, if the game was refereed well, I will make an effort to directly compliment the officials.
And, speaking as someone who has coached and officiated games myself in multiple sports, I think it is of the utmost importance to maintain control of the game.
But, that’s not just on the referees.
Coaches and fans have a responsibility, as well.
During the aforementioned games, I witnessed a player on the bench yelling, “You suck!” after an opponent missed a free throw. Fortunately, the coach heard their player showing disrespect for the other team, and told their player to not talk like that. Speaking as a father and as a coach, that’s a situation where I would tell all players that if you show disrespect, you will stay on the bench.
There’s no need for any of these kids to belittle a team member or opposing team member. And, it is our responsibility as the adults in the room to hold these kids accountable. If you show disrespect towards others, there will be consequences.
And, fans (usually consisting of family and friends of players in the game) have a responsibility, as well. There’s no need for outbursts. Show some respect for the coaches, players, and referees. Otherwise, you’re an embarrassment to those you represent — your community and your entire school district. Take the high road. Remember that these kids are impressionable, and they are learning how to behave from your actions.
To me, sports is not completely about winning competitions. Twenty-five years after we’ve graduated from high school, our athletic accomplishments will become a distant memory. But, there will be some elements of our athletic exploits that will resonate for a lifetime.
Were you a good teammate? Did you demonstrate good sportsmanship? Teamwork and sportsmanship become a reoccurring theme in our lives. Beyond sports, how we interact with others will become a defining measure of our character. Do we build others up with compliments when they do something great? Do we recognize that if we want to be successful, we need to help others become successful?
Learning about teamwork and sportsmanship are more important than winning games in my playbook.
Leave a Reply