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One Moment, Please… Minnesotans could be Martians

February 4, 2019 by Jason Sethre

Fillmore County Journal - One Moment Please Commentary

There’s no doubt that Minnesotans are a different breed of humans.

Ya sure, you betcha, we talk funny according to those who play “Duck, duck, goose.”

But, there’s more to our being than long O’s and A’s in our pronunciations.

This past week was a perfect example.  It was a snot-freezing -60ºF, with the windchill, and we just figured it would pass.  And, we know it will.

We’re hardy people who seem to be a glutton for weather extremes, taking great pride in our change of seasons.

During these rugged days, we just become accustomed to wearing three or four layers of clothing at all times.  Even indoors, while sleeping under three or four blankets.  It just becomes the new normal.

But, then Sunday’s forecast showed a high of 43ºF degrees.

We were looking at a 103ºF degree difference from Thursday to Sunday.  Only in Minnesota, or Mars (not the candy bar).

Yes, pack your long underwear.  We’re going to Mars!

The planet Mars, fourth from the Sun, has a lot to offer the highly adaptable Minnesotan.

The temperature swings from -81ºF at night to a surface temperature as high as 81ºF at noon on the equator.  The poles can drop to -243ºF at night, so you’d need to triple up on layers.

But, if you think about it, Minnesotans could endure those extreme temperature variations with ease.  It’d be like winter at night and summer during the day.

Sure, we’d have to grow our produce in well-insulated hydroponic facilities, but it could be done.

Raising livestock might be a bit of a challenge, unless we had some indoor facilities.

But, all challenges could be overcome by Minnesotans, because they would just figure it out.

And, I’m sure it wouldn’t be crowded on Mars.  Of the 5.57 million Minnesotans, I’m sure we’d see less than 1% of the population willing to move away from friends and family.

Seriously though, if the opportunity ever arose, and NASA said we will pay individuals $1 million per year to live on Mars as a matter of research, I am confident Minnesotans would make perfect Martians.

Filed Under: Commentary

About Jason Sethre

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Fillmore County Journal
jason@fillmorecountyjournal.com

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