By Audra Otto
We’ve all been taught the difference between right and wrong, what constitutes an admirable moral, and how to act in a virtuous manner. Many times, honesty is one of the first traits that will come to your mind when thinking of qualities of a “good person.” I agree wholeheartedly – honesty is the right choice, 99% of the time. However, I have noticed a trend within the communities around me that takes advantage of honesty and turns it into an excuse for less than admirable behavior.
Time and time again, I’ve heard sayings that are blunt and negative, mostly directed towards someone in particular. These are usually followed by a statement such as, “I’m just being honest,” or “I always tell the truth!” Quotes such as these are obviously intended to deflect blame for hurt feelings. As Thumper from “Bambi” would say, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!” Not saying anything is usually still honest, and doesn’t entail making a decision which will negatively impact someone else.
Now, I realize most people don’t intend to hurt anyone with their “honest” remarks; they simply say what comes to mind and perhaps feel gratified for telling the “truth.” I’ve met people who consider their honesty in cases like these a positive trait; again, honesty is usually exemplary, but when it becomes such an instinctive habit, phrases which shouldn’t necessarily be shared slip out here and there. Today, honesty, sharing your opinion, and being “unapologetically yourself” have become idolized and praised by the media. Many well-meaning people have gotten so caught up in being themselves at all costs that they are unnecessarily brutal and rude under the guise of honesty. In situations like this, keeping silent – or, ideally, expressing positive sentiment – would be far more virtuous than “honesty.”
Don’t get me wrong: I struggle as much as the next person at thinking before I speak and talking in a positive way as much as possible. I always have room to improve my interactions with others, just as we all do! Thinking about whether pure honesty or saying nothing at all is the better choice before we voice either option is a constructive first step towards reassessing our idolized version of honesty. After that first step, the next step is saying something beneficial while still being honest; there is always good to remark upon if we are willing to look for it! Honesty is a moral principle to abide by, but the morality of its use always depends on the circumstances and the potential for hurting or helping.
Audra Otto is a student at Fillmore Central High School, and one of 15 area students participating in the Journal Writing Project, now in its 26th year.