Pregnancy is often a joyful time for families, and that was certainly true for Kirsten DeJarlais Snell, her husband Paul, and their two children, Kendall, age 4 ½, and Gable, age 2 ½. The family was eagerly anticipating the arrival of their newest member.
The Origins Story
Kirsten, 36, refers to the beginning of her breast cancer journey as the “origin story.” At 35 weeks pregnant, while taking a shower, she discovered a lump in her breast. Initially, she was excited, thinking it was a sign her milk was coming. However, after mentioning it to her colleagues at Regional Health Services of Howard County in Cresco, where she works as an interpreter, they encouraged her to get it checked out. By week 37, following a biopsy in La Crosse, the devastating news arrived; she had breast cancer.
According to the National Cancer Institute (NCI), cancer during pregnancy is exceedingly rare, one in 3,000, however, it is the most common cancer found in pregnant and postpartum women and is most likely to occur in women between the ages of 32 and 38.
Kirsten was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer, which does not respond to hormone therapy. Because her cancer would not shrink in response to hormones, she started a new protocol, which involves chemotherapy, two different cocktails, over a total of 24 weeks. Given the aggressive nature of her cancer and a high chance of recurrence as ovarian cancer, following a recovery period she is scheduled for a double mastectomy and a hysterectomy in early March, followed by more radiation and chemotherapy to make sure it’s all gone.
Scans show that she is at stage three, indicating that the cancer is in her breast and lymph nodes, but has not metastasized. According to webmd.com, the five-year survival rate for stage three triple-negative breast cancer is about 66%, while it drops to just 10% for stage four.
“I never planned on being in this club, but here I am,” she said.
Despite the shocking diagnosis, Kirsten welcomed her healthy baby girl Claire, at 39 weeks as planned.
At first, Kirsten was in denial, “This can’t be happening. I’m pregnant; that’s incredibly unfair. Then came anger: Why me? I’m not a shitty person. Bad things shouldn’t happen to good people.” She cycled through denial, anger, and bargaining, thinking, “God, can I take a rain check?”
My Purpose
Kirsten describes herself as an “exceedingly private person” but she feels an unexpected sense of purpose. “Oddly enough, I feel like I have this mission now,” she said. “That mission is to make sure that this doesn’t happen to other people. Because it is not the normal course of events that a pregnant woman or anyone under 40 for that matter, would get a mammogram. You know, it’s just not scheduled, it’s not part of routine medical care. And so how can we be more preventative? How can we know about our breast health and detect these things before they get to state three?”
Kirsten plans to undergo genetic testing to check for the BRCA genes. Her genetic counselor is fairly confident she might test positive, given her family’ history. While the prospect is both sad and scary, she sees it as crucial information to share with her children, so that they can take preventative measures when they are older. Kirsten is doing this so she can do something to spare her children.
Support from Family and Community
Paul feels helpless in the face of her diagnosis, but Kirsten reassures him, “You can be here with me, Paul. You can hold my hand and let me cry.”
The couple’s parents live nearby provide unwavering support and assistance.
This year, Kirsten was the recipient of funds raised during the annual volleyball game between Mabel-Canton and Spring Grove, which supports a local community member diagnosed with cancer. The event raised approximately $10,000 through cash donations, a silent auction, and a diaper drive.
Lexi Thorson, a Spring Grove volleyball coach and organizer, explained, “If we learn about a local community member diagnosed with cancer, we aim to support them, regardless of whether they’re from Mabel or Spring Grove. The organizers would like to thank everyone who made this event successful, noting that it would not have been possible without all the amazing support from our teams, community members, and businesses!”
Bobby Hillery recounted the origins of the fundraiser, which began in the 2008-2009 school year. Inspired by the “Coaches vs. Cancer” program, she and fellow coaches initiated a series of events to raise money for those affected by cancer, teaching young people the importance of giving back during difficult times.
Follow Kirsten’s journey on CaringBridge.org. “Stealing Joy” is the name of her blog.