By Angela Denstad
Time and again, when life gets hard, little adages and bits of advice spring to mind. It’s tempting to gather them all together, reasoning there must be some greater truth to be compiled from all the individual bits of collective wisdom imparted to us over the course of our years. In difficult times, we seek solutions; in times of grief, we seek solace. And through all adversity, we look for answers that will help us navigate our way back to the safety of the familiar.
However natural the tendency to want to revert to a time before conflict or sadness, nature’s edict is to evolve. We hear these phrases of change resonate through the ages: From the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus, we have, “The only constant in life is change,” and “No man ever steps in the same river twice”; from Thomas Wolfe’s 1940 novel of the same name, we read, “You can’t go home again.” Stepping even further back, our collective memory recalls the ancient Sufi poetry and oral tradition – as popularized by Abraham Lincoln– that whispers through all situations, good and bad, saying, “This too shall pass.”
The challenge, then, to the rational mind, is to accept our impermanence, and to go on anyway, trying to live a successful life. And how is that done? Through faith in the eternal and perhaps by listening to the advice of our mothers, who said, “Eat your vegetables.” There must be truth in this practical, daily wisdom: Consider the words of Virgil, the ancient Roman poet, who remarked, “The greatest wealth is health.” Also, when we ponder success, we may recall the author and metaphysician Robert Collier, who defined it as this: “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day-in and day-out.”
Perhaps this vision of success is more keenly felt by its inverse, when the loss of small daily efforts amplifies an absence. For instance, I’ve been accustomed to placing two saucers and one teacup on the table each morning – a small effort that, over the years, helped to build a successful and loving relationship with my companion, Alice. She, being a cat, took her morning beverage directly from the saucer – extra milk, hold the tea. Now that, after nearly 16 years, her spirit has departed her earthly shell, I feel the idleness of being unable to repeat so many small daily efforts devoted to her care. I have to unlearn the habits I’ve cherished in order to accept that she’s gone.
And though I can no longer nurture my Alice, I must listen to sound advice and lean on the wise words of others, as Queen Elizabeth II did upon losing her husband, Prince Philip. She paraphrased bereavement specialist Dr. Colin Murray Parkes in saying, “Grief is the price we pay for love.”
Life must go on. We keep calm; we carry on. We repeat all the other small daily efforts that lead to success: getting up, getting dressed, eating our vegetables – sometimes even dressing our vegetables, as in this simplest of salads. (Alice was always so helpful with recipes like this, ever willing to taste the cream for freshness.) It’s a dressing for success, one you’ll want to repeat day-in and day-out while spring greens are at their peak, and one that won’t overwhelm with a lengthy ingredient list or complex preparation. Toss it together for a Mother’s Day luncheon or to nurture yourself or someone in need on any occasion. It’s proof of the old adage that sometimes simplest is best.
As for my Alice, her memory will live on in a thousand ways, both familiar and new, as her favorite spot in the yard is evolving into the best flower garden I can make of it. She will be “a fountain of gardens, a well of living waters …” Song of Songs 4:15. And though I might not wish to hear it now, I would be remiss for not reminding myself of another old adage – that time heals all wounds.
About the author: Angela works as a copywriter in the education sector and has dabbled in various culinary pursuits. She was the author of The Caledonia Argus’ long-standing weekly food column Thyme Out with Angela and is happy to now join the rotation of food writers with the Fillmore County Journal.
Spring Greens with Cream Dressing (Salade à la Crème)
¼ cup heavy cream
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1-2 teaspoons red wine vinegar
6-8 cups fresh tender salad greens, torn into bite-sized pieces
Place the cream, salt, and pepper in a bowl large enough to hold the salad. Whisk the cream until frothy, about 15 seconds. Drizzle in the vinegar and continue whisking until the dressing has thickened, another 10 seconds or so. Add the salad greens and toss to coat. Divide onto salad plates and enjoy as is, or top with whatever you wish: avocado slices, hard-boiled egg, cold cooked chicken, smoked salmon, cucumber, radish, fresh herbs, crumbled bacon and/or croutons would all be nice additions.
Recipe courtesy of Jacques Pépin, who learned it from his mother.
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