For any of you who know me and know my husband, you will also know that he never reads my column. So, I thought it was safe to write another column that shares the joys of marriage—or, as some of us say, “Are you kidding me?”
My other half often displays what I call “husband-isms.” In my world, they are behaviors or actions that only my husband has (that I know of) and they can be cute or annoying depending on the day. Today is not the cute day.
When I go the grocery store after work and get home by 7:30-8 p.m. with a load fit for a family of 10 instead of our three, how come my husband lets me know that my son can help me carry in the groceries? I busted him on that one today and said that phrase he says immediately keeps me in the picture of carrying in bags and takes him out—yes, I have noticed it for the past 10 years but finally got tired one night and said something. After denying this famous husband-ism a few times, he started to give me a smirk…oh man, why does he have to be cute when I am mad?
Husband-ism #2 is when he falls asleep before I do, on top of the covers mind you, and I am stuck trying to get at least a quarter of the comforter for the rest of the night. Since this husband-ism has been going on so long, I succumbed to having an additional blanket and sleeping on top of the covers. But, by gosh if my pillow is missing the light is coming on and trouble is brewing.
Husband-ism #3 has become more evident over the past years. It’s the “I look fine” comment as we are heading to the store where I run into people from work who have never met him. Seriously, he threw on his dirty garage baseball cap, his snowmobiling Vikings sweatshirt from 20 years ago with caulk all over it, and jeans that are two sizes too big. He is a handsome guy, but that look is just not cutting it for him. Yes, it’s about what is on the inside…blah, blah, blah…no, it’s not. Ha! He has decent clothes that are not at the “church clothes” level that he can wear to go shopping. What are church clothes in his book you might ask? Husband-ism #4 is church clothes = any shirt with a button and pants without a loop for a construction tool.
I will wind this up with saying he is a great guy who has managed to stay in my good graces for the past 20 years and, thankfully, he has put up with me for just as long. However, be ready—you just may hear some serious yelling one day when I throw away the caulk sweatshirt!
Crockpot “Moscow” Chicken
2 cloves garlic, roughly chopped
2 green onions, chopped
1/2 teaspoon grated ginger root
1 (10 fluid ounce) bottle Russian-style salad dressing
Salt and pepper to taste
Directions: Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Cook chicken until well browned on both sides. Allow chicken to cool slightly.
Wrap each thigh in a piece of bacon, and place in slow cooker. Sprinkle garlic and ginger over the chicken; top with Russian dressing. Cook on low in crockpot for 5 to 6 hours. Season to taste with salt and pepper.