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Thoughts on the Obama drama


By Col. Stan Gudmundson

Fri, Jun 21st, 2013
Posted in All Commentary

By Col. Stan Gudmundson

POTUS Opening Statement: Once again Republicans are playing politics and manufacturing more Obamarama drama. Their charges are ridiculous. Afterall, the government is so big I, along with my senior leadership, just cannot know what goes on all of the time.

It seemed to start with that “Fast and Furious” government gun-running operation. Attorney General Holder didn’t have a clue as to what was going on and neither did I. It was run by low-level government agents who were testing a new theory about illicit gun trafficking.

What was the theory?

Well, gee, it was ah...let me see, it was...you know I really don’t have a very good answer. But rest assured, it had absolutely nothing to do with my administration’s efforts to eliminate private gun ownership...ah, what I meant to say was, the work we are doing to make America safer...ah, yeah, that’s it...a safer America. You’ll have to ask Holder though, he still probably doesn’t have a real good handle on this either.

The people involved?

They are government employees. We can’t just plaster their names all over the place. I mean, they have rights we can’t arbitrarily violate. I do know they have been punished though. Holder told me so. But I want to make it very clear that we are very sorry for any deaths that may have occurred as a result of this.

IRS restricting the formation of tax exempt organization of Pro-Life, Jewish, and conservative groups?

I also want to make this very clear that I consider such behavior to be reprehensible. Actually, I’m really, really, really mad about it.

People involved?

You’ll have to ask the IRS director. I have no doubt those responsible have been or will be punished.

Names?

Again, I have to remind you that they are government employees and they have rights. Yes, I do know some names have surfaced. But some of these people are Bush appointees.

Some of the appointees were Democrats?

True, some of these folks gave the Democrat Party a lot of money and we really appreciate their help. But the bottom line is that those were Bush appointments and so, once again, we can trace many of our problems back to George Bush and his inept administration.

The person who oversaw the restricting of conservative groups?

Well, technically she may have been in charge but, once more, I have to remind you of the enormous scope of government. Her supervision of these activities was, as I said, just a technicality. She has since been meritoriously promoted to manage the IRS responsibilities for Nobamacare. It’s justified because she is especially competent. All you have to do is look at the size of her salary and bonuses to confirm that.

Number of time the IRS director visited the White House?

Well, it is true that Bush’s IRS director visited here only one time and my IRS director has visited over 150 times. But that’s why. Bush just ignored his responsibility here. That has required a more “hands-on” approach by my administration. It should be clear to you by now that it takes time and effort to fix the mess the previous administration left me.

Did IRS activities suppress enough conservative voters to swing the last presidential election to me?

That’s just another one of those baseless wild right-wing fantasies. It’s convenient though as it gives Republicans talking-points to attack those of us on the side of angels.

I know that most of the low-level activists have families, mortgages, insurance payments, retirement accounts, tuitions to pay for and all of that. Their jobs pay very well and they really need them, but they took unbelievable risks. It is really, really hard to believe that they did this without telling their supervisors and kept it from them.

But they were justly concerned over the possibility of a Republican victory. They risked the very livelihood of themselves and their families. I want to make it clear, they were wrong. But, in a way, they are also heroes. Afterall, the divisive partisan politics of the Republicans precipitated this.

Benghazi and where was I?

I must be very clear about this unfortunate incident, that in this regard, we are deeply sorry and our hearts go out to the family and loved ones who died there. As for who ordered the military to stand down during the Benghazi attack, yes I do understand that “technically” only the three of us could have ordered that. By that I mean AFRICOM’s four-star general could have ordered the standdown but he wouldn’t have without SECDEF’s or my permission. The SECDEF could have ordered a standdown so he may have had a role since I did tell him to take care of it.

I say “technically” because, as you know, this government and its military are really big so it’s difficult to make it run smoothly. There are reports though of low-level government employees who have tried to embarrass us just before the election. We are looking into that.

You’ll have to ask Hillary and SECDEF for more information though. But let me be clear, we will get to the bottom of this. Although I do have to agree with one of Hillary’s answers to Congress, and that applies to questions about my whereabouts during the attack as well.

“What difference does it make?” she said. After the uncalled for treatment by Congress I also think she had the perfect right to be indignant when she said that. Moreover, you have to cut her a little slack since she was and is recovering from injuries as a consequence of falling on her head.

Warrantless searches of the Associated Press and criminal charges against reporters?

Let me be again very clear. I have a strong faith in the constitution and firmly believe that the press must be free from government interference. You will have to ask Holder about specifics.

The Constitution?

Yes, it’s a very interesting old historical document though I don’t think I’ve ever seen one laying around the White House. If you’re actually interested in getting a copy, I’m sure the Supreme Court would have one for you. Given that they don’t use it all that much anymore either.

Harry Truman said that “buck stops here.” He was absolutely right, ah sorry, correct. Right is a bad word. To make it very clear, I have not passed and I will not pass the buck. I take my authority and responsibility as President very, very seriously. I am not a crook.

Let’s be very clear about that. POTUS.

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