"Where Fillmore County News Comes First"
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Friday, August 22nd, 2014
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One Moment, Please... Headlines that didn’t make the cut


Fri, Mar 29th, 2013
Posted in All Commentary

By Jason Sethre

Publisher

Fillmore County Journal &

Olmsted County Journal

Cell: 507-251-5297

jason@fillmorecountyjournal.com

I really, really wanted to make this edition of the Fillmore County Journal a special one. After all, it’s not often that our publishing date falls on April 1st of any given year. As a matter of fact, our next opportunity to publish an April Fool’s edition of the Fillmore County Journal will be on April 1, 2019 -- six years from now.

As I walked around the office, I threw a whole bunch of headlines and story ideas out on the table, but the staff rejected every single one of them. They felt that I would be stirring the pot. And, they are usually right.

But, I figured if it wasn’t on the front page of the newspaper, simply buried in my commentary piece, it might not ruffle any feathers.

So, with a ladle in one hand, a keyboard in another, and a rolling pin in the other, I began to slowly churn the pot, and here’s what I came up with for my Top Ten April Fools’ Day headlines.

1. “Frac sand mining garners unanimous county-wide support.”

2. “Rushford and Rushford Village to become one.”

3. “Carimona Township repeats history, reclaiming title as County Seat.”

4. “Lanesboro approves new Wal-mart to be built in 2014.”

5. “Fountain disappears in sinkhole; reappears in Harmony.”

6. “Fillmore County rice farmers on the rise.”

7. “Fillmore Central, Mabel-Canton, Lanesboro schools to merge by 2015.”

8. “Preston bans trout fishing for Trout Days.”

9. “Fillmore County bans Packer fans.”

10. “Fountain Police Chief works closely with Ostrander Police Chief to solve crime.”

These are the stories that were never written; only talked about. I guess we will never know what sort of public reaction I might have received.

But, as you are reading today’s Fillmore County Journal, please note that there are a few other surprises along the way. We have some spoof ads and editorial content that is tainted with a bit of April Foolery. See how many you can find, and share them with your family, friends and co-workers.

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