"Where Fillmore County News Comes First"
Online Edition
Wednesday, June 19th, 2013
Volume ∞ Issue ∞
- 8:58:04, Jun 18th 2013 - cabraden1 - I salute you Colonel Overland. Your were my c.o. at Rockville Naval Air ... [Read More]
- 7:10:46, Jun 13th 2013 - chipperlee - Seems to be a well written article, except maybe Silica Sand is used in ... [Read More]
- 12:02:15, Jun 9th 2013 - getthefacts - The problem here lies in the fact that girls were repeatedly told "if y ... [Read More]
- 10:45:32, Jun 7th 2013 - Jo mom for 6yrs - Mr. Ehler hit the nail on the head. I agree with the religious con ... [Read More]
- 2:47:58, Jun 7th 2013 - hello - Hello, it's time you wake up. There isn't a community nearby that doesn't offe ... [Read More]
- 9:06:21, Jun 6th 2013 - hello - Hello, it's time you wake up. There isn't a community nearby that doesn't offe ... [Read More]
- 2:05:29, Jun 6th 2013 - Kim Wentworth - The number one rule in a debate: 1) if the person from the opposite si ... [Read More]
- 12:42:18, Jun 4th 2013 - EW - For someone that is always spouting religious rhetoric, you try to come off as a ... [Read More]
- 11:32:18, May 31st 2013 - JO PLAYER - This is unfair to us girls. Morrie Miller is not getting canceled but J ... [Read More]
- 8:25:34, May 29th 2013 - RP - Why is Mr. Ehler involving himself with non-school activities? Is he going after ... [Read More]
The three year plan
Comments
Monday, June 5, 2000
It was at supper a few weeks ago, when my family was all gathered, that I told them.
"Now that we are all together, there is something I need to tell you," I said to them in a voice that was serious but devoid of emotion. They looked across the table at me, past the steaming rice and chicken stir fry, trying to read my face.
"I have reached a critical time in my life," I continued. "And I need my family around me to talk about this."
The humor went out of their faces and there was a feeling of expectancy in the air.
"I got the news today, in fact." I paused for effect, my head making a slow pan clockwise as I looked at each of my loved ones - my wife, my son, my daughter.
"I'm not sure how to tell you this," I said quietly, my head looking downward. "But today I've been invited to join A-A-R-P. I'm going to be a senior citizen!"
There was a loud howl!
After the laughter died down, my son said with a sense of relief, "Gosh dad, I thought you were going to tell us you had cancer or something."
I held up the letter. It read WELCOME TO AARP!. I could join for one year for $8 or get on the three year plan for $20. Man, the choices you get at 50.
"What's A-A-R-P stand for," my son asked.
"The American Association of Retired Persons, I think," I answered. "It's an organization for people over 50."
Actually, I'm four months shy of fifty. My brother-in-law in Long Island got his AARP membership offer last summer. He was incredulous that an organization could hunt him down and collar him with the news that he was about to enter his silver years.
"How can they do that!" George exclaimed. "Just send a letter to you like that. That's not right. No way am I getting that card." He threatened to talk to his congressman about data privacy.
I am more sanguine about it. I look at it as one more adventure in my life. I bicycled half way across America in my twenties; I lived in the South Pacific and in the Orient during my thirties; and I got in the newspaper business in my forties. So fifty, well, I expect new discoveries and experiences. For me it's just another birthday.
I told my kids I'm looking on the bright side. "Hey, I'll be able to get coffee at McDonalds for fifteen cents," I told them. "All the chicks will be after me now. I'm still a chunk, you know."
"Dad," my teenage daughter said with a sigh, "they're called hunks, not chunks."
I patted my stomach in mock horror.
"And I know which one you qualify for," she added jokingly.
"Not bad for almost fifty," I countered, grabbing a pinch of skin around my belt.
At and 2/3'ds my hair has a bit more grey than it used to and gravity has pushed a few of my stomach muscles south, but all in all I feel pretty good.
So good in fact, that I'm joining AARP on the three year plan.
I think it will be $20 well spent.
It was at supper a few weeks ago, when my family was all gathered, that I told them.
"Now that we are all together, there is something I need to tell you," I said to them in a voice that was serious but devoid of emotion. They looked across the table at me, past the steaming rice and chicken stir fry, trying to read my face.
"I have reached a critical time in my life," I continued. "And I need my family around me to talk about this."
The humor went out of their faces and there was a feeling of expectancy in the air.
"I got the news today, in fact." I paused for effect, my head making a slow pan clockwise as I looked at each of my loved ones - my wife, my son, my daughter.
"I'm not sure how to tell you this," I said quietly, my head looking downward. "But today I've been invited to join A-A-R-P. I'm going to be a senior citizen!"
There was a loud howl!
After the laughter died down, my son said with a sense of relief, "Gosh dad, I thought you were going to tell us you had cancer or something."
I held up the letter. It read WELCOME TO AARP!. I could join for one year for $8 or get on the three year plan for $20. Man, the choices you get at 50.
"What's A-A-R-P stand for," my son asked.
"The American Association of Retired Persons, I think," I answered. "It's an organization for people over 50."
Actually, I'm four months shy of fifty. My brother-in-law in Long Island got his AARP membership offer last summer. He was incredulous that an organization could hunt him down and collar him with the news that he was about to enter his silver years.
"How can they do that!" George exclaimed. "Just send a letter to you like that. That's not right. No way am I getting that card." He threatened to talk to his congressman about data privacy.
I am more sanguine about it. I look at it as one more adventure in my life. I bicycled half way across America in my twenties; I lived in the South Pacific and in the Orient during my thirties; and I got in the newspaper business in my forties. So fifty, well, I expect new discoveries and experiences. For me it's just another birthday.
I told my kids I'm looking on the bright side. "Hey, I'll be able to get coffee at McDonalds for fifteen cents," I told them. "All the chicks will be after me now. I'm still a chunk, you know."
"Dad," my teenage daughter said with a sigh, "they're called hunks, not chunks."
I patted my stomach in mock horror.
"And I know which one you qualify for," she added jokingly.
"Not bad for almost fifty," I countered, grabbing a pinch of skin around my belt.
At and 2/3'ds my hair has a bit more grey than it used to and gravity has pushed a few of my stomach muscles south, but all in all I feel pretty good.
So good in fact, that I'm joining AARP on the three year plan.
I think it will be $20 well spent.