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What I do when I cant find anything to do

Sun, Aug 6th, 2000
Posted in

It helps if I make a list of things to do when I have the time. I think of all the nice things that I might be able to do for the people less fortunate than I am; such as giving advice to those in need of it and time to the timeless.

When the phone rings, I count the number of rings before whoever is calling gives up and hangs up. I wonder why I must pay a tax on my phone bill and, for that matter, why do I have a phone at all, since I never use it? Sometimes I look out the window and wait for something to watch. Depending on the season, I watch my wife weed the gardens or shovel snow.

I think of all the money I spent learning how to Tango, Conga and Rumba and to what end since nobody around here can play the music. I look at my movie collection and wonder what my wife would say if she knew how much money I have spent on it? I think of all the money that I saved in Dues since I wasnt accepted into the Moose, the Eagles, the Country Club and the Knights and Pythias. I think about the four years of Spanish lessons I took over fifty ears ago and all that I can remember to say is Buenos Dias, Como Esta, Cuando Comemos To those of you who elected to study French or Norwegian, those phrases mean - Good Day, How are you?, and When do we eat?

I think about the meaning of life and what does dot.com, web site, megahertz, down load and surfing the internet mean? What is e-mail? What good is it and who would want it anyway? I think about the people who pay from thirty to forty thousand dollars or more for a car and then complain about the price of gas and their license tabs.

I think about how good I feel and how much lower my blood pressure is since I gave my golf clubs away. I think about how fortunate I am that I dont have the faults, vices, and bad habits that my friends and neighbors have. I think about the fact that I dont have any Peers and that in three countries I am known as Peerless Jack.

Well, there is just so much thought in a day and Ive done all that a man like me can do. So, I think that Ill call it a day and have a beer.

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