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Bush or Gore...Who cares?

Sun, Nov 5th, 2000
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By Andy CarlsonNovember 6, 2000

This election year could be one of the closest races ever. But this election isn't all that exciting. I mean come on, Bush and Gore's personalities are drier than happy hour at the Betty Ford Clinic. Worst of all they're the front runners! After them we have Nader who looks like he could have been campaigning against Lincoln. Then there's Buchanan, the guy who everyone thinks is a Nazi. Yeah, you heard me Nazi.

But it's not all that fair to critisize all of them together. It's much more specific (and fun) to "discuss" them one at a time. Let's start with Gore. His father, Albert Sr., was a senator from Tennessee. He served in Vietnam from 1969 to 1971 as a military reporter. Plus he was the vice-president for the last eight years if any of you hadn't noticed. Now he wants to be president.

In my personal opinion, I think he would make a great president except for one little thing...the guy has a personality that is equivilant to an Arby's trainee on drugs (don't worry we'll get to drugs, I haven't talked about George W. Bush yet). Actually the only time I have EVER seen Gore have human tendencies was during a New Years Party at the White House when he was dancing. He might be a descent politician, but he's really horrible at the Macarena.

Then there's George W. Bush. He, like Gore, has the same name as his father. Plus his, like Gore's, father was a prominant political figure before him. But Bush has had some great achievements. Such as Desert Storm...oh, excuse me, my bad. I'm confusing George W. Bush with George Bush, a mistake a sizable portion of the voting community has made.

Now I've heard everything about Bush. I've heard that he has a thing for cocaine and has had more weed than a blind man's garden. In addition, I don't think that the media has helped shape the image of Bush. From what a lot of teenagers my age have gathered about Bush is that he's a vocabulary handicapped, substance abusing, hick governor from Texas whose answer for everything is the lethal injection. Yep, that's the image that you really want when you're running for president.

Of course there's good old Ralph Nader, and I do mean old. But that's okay because if I were able to vote, Nader would be the candidate that I would vote for. He seems stuck on his issues and is not afraid to talk about them. Plus Nader doesn't go on national television and bicker, like Bush and Gore which is getting pretty irritating. In addition, Nader isn't all hocked up and big on "I wanna lower taxes" speeches or "no more big government. No, Nader is the Green Party candidate and he is interested in exactly what his Party's title is, Green. He's concerned about the environment, something that we are all concerned about. It would be better to live in a clean environment than have a 0.00004% tax cut or whatever Bush and Gore are proposing in their debates. Nader is a down to earth candidate and has my vote (if I could vote).

The final candidate I'm going to write about is the Independent Party's Pat Buchanan. The candidate that the media has compared to Hitler, due to the fact that certain aspects of his views on government are reminiscent of the late Nazi. I personally think that Buchanan is a poor man's Ross Perot. He is an Independent like Perot and he's not afraid to speak out about the issues like Perot, but one attribute is lacking from Buchanan that Perot had. Perot was much more photogenic and entertaining. Unfortunatly, like Perot before him, Buchanan will also lose by a landslide.

My final thoughts are aimed at Bush and Gore and about their debates. I mean come on, does every channel on TV really have to cover this stuff? I turned on the TV and 99.9% of the channels were showing the live debate and the other 0.1% were keeping up to date coverage every 10 minutes. It was absurd, to me anyways.

This article probably won’t sway your voting too much. I mean come on, who would take political advice from a 15 year-old kid. I would say vote for Nader; or, even better, vote for me! Just put me in as the write-in vote. Andy Carlson 2000, come on I could even beat Buchanan. It's a shame but the truth is that voters probably know as much about me as they do about the other candidates.

So vote Gore, Bush, Nader, or Buchanan - exercise your constitutional right. But be careful when voting tomorrow, because my Momma always said Presidential candidates are like a box of chocolates: some are good, but the rest are completely nuts.

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