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Now I think that I know it all


Fri, Feb 16th, 2001
Posted in

Monday, February 12, 2001

I had written six hundred and seventy-six words in longhand on Wednesday. I always compose my subject in longhand and then, when Im satisfied with it, I type it and send it off for publication. I had just finished typing the first paragraph when my typewriter refused to type another word. It just wouldnt work. First I gave it a good talking to and when that failed, I gave it a good shaking up and then I hauled off and gave it a good kick.

My wife came into the room and wanted to know what was going on and why I was using that kind of language. I told her that I had been talking to my typewriter. She looked at me for awhile, then shook her head and said that I had finally gone around the bend and derailed. She also said that her mother had warned her about me and predicted that something like this was bound to happen sooner or later.

I told her that I was sorry if I seemed upset but I had six hundred and seventy-six words to type and nothing to type with and all of those words had to be ready to go by Monday and here it was Wednesday already. I told her that I had to go somewhere and get another typewriter because I didnt have time to get mine repaired even if I could find someone who could fix it. She reminded me that I had been fighting with that piece of junk for the last two years and she was not going to allow another typewriter into her house. She told me that it was high time that I entered the Twenty-First Century and bought myself a computer. I told her that I didnt know anything about computers except that they had stuff called megahertz, gigabytes and whatever and I didnt have any idea of what, if anything, they meant.

She said that in all of those years that she had known me, this was the only time that I had ever admitted that there was something that I didnt know. She then got on the phone to our son Tom and asked him if he could take me into the city and help me buy a computer. He came over the next day and took me in hand. I felt like a child going to his first day of school. We went to three or four places before he found what I needed.

Have you ever been to a foreign country and had people come up to you and start talking to you and not understand a word that they said? Well with great tact and diplomacy so as not to make me feel like an idiot, Tom told the kid behind the counter what it was that I needed. After about half and hour, Tom and the kid had assembled an array of stuff that filled the trunk of Toms car and I wrote a check that was for more than I paid for my first car. Make that my first two cars.

When we got home Tom put all of the stuff into order and I was shocked to see how small my large desk had become. He then started to explain the various parts and functions of the computer. I asked him if we could get into all of that later and for now, could he just do something about those six hundred and seventy-six words that had to be done by Monday. He got the job done in just a few minutes and then said that he would be back the next day and we would start my education.

When he came back, he showed me how to get the thing started and how to use the thing called a mouse. We spent about two hours playing with the thing and I finally got to where I could start and stop it by myself. He gave me a text book that weighs about twenty pounds, outlined four chapters and said that I could expect a quiz in three days. Well, some time has passed and Ill just say that Tom has done what people have always said couldnt be done. he taught an old dog new tricks.

John Flaherty

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