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To Speak or Not to Speak

Fri, Apr 20th, 2001
Posted in

Monday, April 23, 2001

When I awoke this morning, I discovered that I could no longer speak English, at least the English that is spoken today. Something happened when my back was turned and I wasnt looking. What happened is something that is called Political Correctness and I find that I am in violation of it. It is quite possible that I could be brought up on charges unless I change my tongue, so to speak.

Apparently this P.C. regime was not phased in over some time but was the result of a revolution that overturned the governance of semantics and syntax in the English that is spoken in North American. As a result, what used to be a manhole is now referred to as a personhole and its cover is no longer a manhole cover, but a personhole cover. Members of any city council are no longer called aldermen, but have become either council members or councilpersons, as if any one cared. At one time my grandfather was the Alderman at Large on the city council and I will not tell you what end would have come to anyone who called him a City Councilperson at Large.

When our forefathers proclaimed that all men are created equal, Im sorry, when our forepersons proclaimed that all persons are created equal they obviously did not have the present generation in mind. There is no question about it, the Declaration of Independence must be re-written and someone is going to have to edit the first paragraph of Lincolns Gettysburg Address.

As a result of all this Political Correctness, it has become impossible for me to properly address a business letter. Dear Sir is out and Miss or Mrs. will show me up as the ignorant lout that I have become. I dread to think what would happen to me if I got hauled into court for addressing some woman, whoops, some person as Madame. Im, sorry, but I just dont understand why any woman (there I go again) kindly strike woman and replace with female, no that is not acceptable either. How about sheperson? Well to get back on track, why would any sheperson that is intelligent and able enough to become a CEO of a corporation wish to be addressed as Miz?

There are no longer any handymen, cleaning ladies or salesmen. They have become handy person, cleaning persons and sales persons or sales representatives, depending upon what they are selling and for whom. Waiters and waitresses have become wait persons and airline hostesses have become stewards. Thank God, at least for now a bartender is still a bartender, regardless of its sex.

John Flaherty

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