"Where Fillmore County News Comes First"
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Monday, December 5th, 2016
Volume ∞ Issue ∞

Sometimes the mail gets through whether you want it or not

Fri, Jun 1st, 2001
Posted in

Monday, June 4, 2001

I received my first e-mail yesterday. At least I think that it was an e-mail because I had never seen one before and neither has anyone else in Flabbergast County. Since it was the first and quite possibly the only e-mail ever to be received in this county, I sent it over to the county historical society for preservation in their archives.

I think that I may be the only one to receive an e-mail through the United States Post Office. I must admit that I am not equipped to send or receive an e-mail that I wouldnt know how to send one even if I wanted to. The person writing to me (does e-mail come under the heading, writing?) perhaps corresponding would be a better choice of words, did not have my address, so the e-mail was sent to our newspaper, The Dormant News - All the News Thats Fit to Print and Some That Aint. Since, so for at least, there is only one Flaherty in the county, (better make that two, I forgot my wife and there are three if you want to count Sam), The Dormant News was able to track me down and forward the e-mail to me.

Where do you suppose the concept of e-mail came from? It came from outer space is the first thought that comes to mind. If all of those people down in New Mexico saw all of the UFOs that they say that they did, they probably tried to correspond with them and since they couldnt rely on the Post Office to deliver in Space, they had to come up with something and somehow managed to invent electronic mail. Since this was a different type of mail, it called for a special mailing address and they came up with something like this: . Now if that makes any sense to you, you belong out in Space...far out in Space.

They tell me that its time that I get with it and join the group that has entered the 21st Century. Well, perhaps theyre right. Could I be the only one in the world who is out of step? If that indeed is the case, where do I start? We did replace the rotary phone with a touch tone. But, since I never use the thing anyway, it probably doesnt count for much in the way of progress. I have gotten a computer since my old typewriter fell apart. I only use it as a word processor but they tell me that its a step forward. Now I think that I know how my grandfather felt when my grandmother made him trade in his horse and buggy for a Buick.

Getting back to this e-mail thing; what good is it if the Post Office has to deliver it? How long before The Dormant News would tire of reading my mail and relaying it to me? Since the only mail that I get are bills and junk that I throw away, why would I want to get them by e-mail? After due consideration, I think that Ill slip back into the 20th Century when nobody is looking.

John Flaherty

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