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Notes from a Country Kitchen

Fri, Aug 17th, 2001
Posted in Columnists

Annabelle Kvam Monday, August 20, 2001

Do you read and believe everything you see in the paper? Everyday its something new or different we shouldn’t do, eat drink or breathe. Here’s some:
1. Don’t eat eggs, apples, carrots, rice, oats, barley, plums, cherries, garlic, wheat bran, wheat germ, soybean oil, green vegetables for all the same reason.
2. Don’t breath, you will inhale carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide and oxides of nitrogen and sulphur.
3. Obviously don’t drive or ride in an automobile, in the U.S. 50,000 persons a year are killed by autos.
4. Don’t eat salt, you may have to drink too much water.
5. Don’t farm. It is one of the three most dangerous occupations.
6. Don’t turn on the TV, those rays may cause cancer.
7. Don’t switch on a microwave oven, for the same reason.
8. Finally! Don’t read this, you might have a nervous breakdown.
. . . . .

A job-seeker walked in the house and announced “Honey, I got a job!” “Great,” she said, “What’s the pay?” “Oh, they said they’ll pay me what I’m worth!” “What?” his wife sputtered. “We can’t live on that!”

. . . . .
A farmer was milking when he saw a fly disappear into the cows ear. After milking a while longer, he noticed a fly in the milk bucket. “That’s really something,” he said. “A fly goes in one ear and out the udder.”
. . . . .
Ole says that Lena’s mother is so fat, that she needs Group Insurance.

. . . . .
Never pick a quarrel,
even when it’s ripe.

. . . . .
When at night one cannot sleep,
a common cure is counting sheep,
but what do you do
if you’re so tense,
you can’t can make the
darn sheep jump the fence.

. . . . .
A man of words and not of deeds,
is like a garden full of weeds.

. . . . .
The most important thing
about your lot in life,
is whether you use it
for building or parking.

. . . . .
Holy Bloopers
1. Tuesday at 4pm there will be an ice cream social, all ladies giving milk come early.
2. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized on both ends.
3. The service will close with “Little Drops of Water.” One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

. . . . .
Thoughts on a rainy Monday
• The day you get a manicure, the kettle must be scoured.
• The weekend you have special guests, the breakfast cream has soured.
• While you were on vacation, the six-year Lily flowered.
• It was your brand-new sandal, the neighbors pup devoured.
• For Sunday-evening waffles, the iron’s sure to stick.
• Some husbands help by saying, the batter seems too thick.
• The morning after grandma leaves, the baby’s tooth comes through.
• You’ve no complaint, you merely state, the facts are tried and true.
• Though fortune smiles on all the world, it seems she laughs at you.
. . . . .
~Until next week, Annabelle

Refrigerator Pickles

4 cups sugar
4 cups vinegar
1/2 cup salt
1 1/3 teaspoon turmeric
1 1/3 teaspoon celery seed
1 1/3 teaspoon mustard seed
3 onions, sliced thin
cucumbers, sliced thin

Mix sugar, vinegar and spices together. DO NOT HEAT. Slice onions and cucumbers and put into jars. Stir syrup well and pour over cucumbers and onions. Cover. Refrigerate at least 5 days before using. These keep nine months in refrigerator.

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