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Another One From Flaherty: Things are different in the country

Fri, Dec 13th, 2002
Posted in Columnists

One of the many things that I have learned since moving to the country is that things dont get done in a day and sometimes things dont get done at all. There is an advantage to that in that there is always something to do, even if it doesnt get done.

One of the things that I have been meaning to do is to repair a small section of a rock wall that Sam has knocked down while in pursuit of a squirrel. I havent done it as yet, but some day I suppose that I will get around to it. But now that I think of it, Sam always goes over that part of the wall and there really is not much point in patching it if Sam is just going to knock it down again. I think that I will just refer to it as Sams Gate, and let it go at that.

Another thing that I hadnt realized was the great number of churches that there are in this county. Ive leaned that every fall of the year these numerous churches, including my own, have Fall Dinners.

Now there is nothing wrong with a dinner or two now and then, its the menu that Im concerned about. I appears that there are three entries that these churches come up with: Roast Pork, Baked Ham and Roast Turkey. Now there is nothing wrong with Roast Pork, Baked Ham and Roast Turkey (I wonder if anyone has every attempted to fry a Turkey). Its the way that they are advertised that gives me more than a little concern. Roast Pork with all of the Trimmings, Baked Ham with all of the Trimmings, and Roast Turkey with all of the Trimmings.

It is a well known fact that both Roast Pork and Baked Ham are derived from hogs. But do you realize just what is trimmed from hogs? Ears, Snouts, Tails and Feet, that is what is trimmed from hogs. I dont know about the rest of you, but I , for one, dont relish the thought of a side dish of Snouts, Ears, Tails or Feet and I most certainly do not want an appetizer of Turkey Feet.

Another thing that I have noticed is that people living in the country drive differently from people in the city. I have learned that when I come upon a stop sign in the country, I had better check my rear view mirror before I stop or risk being read ended. There is not much chance of being rear ended in the city. City drivers prefer to wait until you are part way through the intersection and then plow into you from the side. Country drivers never look straight ahead as they cruise along their way. They will turn their heads from right to left, and from left to right, and only occasionally look to see if there might not be something in front of them.

As I was driving home one winter day, I noticed that this fellow ahead of me was looking left and right, so I looked left and right to see what he was looking at. All that I could see was about four feet of snow lying in the fields on either side of the road. Quite by chance I learned the answer when I entered Rudes Barbershop and heard this bit of conversation, by the way, Newt, I was driving past your place the other day and that snow of yours is laying in there pretty good.

Yeah Mort, its the best cover that Ive had in years. Newt went out the door and Mort turned to Rube and while shaking his head said, hes going to loose it.

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