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Another One from Flaherty: Can't Sleep

Fri, Feb 7th, 2003
Posted in Columnists

When I read and hear about hip and knee replacements I wonder what they do with all of the hips and knees that have been replaced. Can they be re-cycles or rebuilt? Over the years I have had my cars repaired with re-built alternators, clutches, engines and starters; couldnt the same be done with the human odds and ends that have been replaced by artificial parts?

Well, from what I understand, all of these hips and knees have been replaced because they have worn out from over use. If that is indeed the case, how about tongues? I certainly know of a few people that over use their tongues; why is it that tongues never seem to wear out?

Another thing that I think about when I cant get to sleep are all of those political campaign promises that are made before elections. What sort of shape would the country be in if all of those campaign promises were kept? Why couldnt the incumbent simply state that he or she, enjoys his or her job, the pay is good and would we, his or her constituents, kindly keep him or her in office for another term. The opponent could state that the incumbent has had the job long enough and its time for someone else to get a piece of the pie; and that should be the end of it.

When Telemarketers call, why do thy say, Hello Mr. Flaherty; how are you today? Why just today, dont they care about how I was yesterday? Dont they realize that if I werent feeling well it is quite likely that I wouldnt be answering the phone? How are you indeed; how am I as compared to what or when? Why dont we gather all of these Telemarketers and send them off to Iraq and see how long they stay in business. Hello Mr. Hussein and how are you today?

Why do business people and advertisers tell me that if I comply with certain conditions, I am entitled to a free gift? Isnt a gift a gift? Why would anyone charge me for a gift? Why would I be dumb enough to accept a gift if I knew that I was going to be billed for it once I accepted it?

Then there are those who tell me that if I listen to them or subscribe to a certain periodical I would be informed of the true facts of certain matters. Isnt a fact a fact, isnt a fact a truth? Are there such things as false facts? If there are such things as false facts, I think that they would be rather easy to come by if I listened to campaign speeches.

I think that I would be better off if I just quit thinking about things once I get into bed and learned to live with my insomnia. As they say in medical circles, the best cure for insomnia is a good nights sleep.

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