By Pailey Gordon
Growing up, my mother told me to always be myself and to not let others change who I am or to let people change my morals. I was always circled around making sure I was always being my truest self. Especially in my teen years, I have run across a few people who weren’t true to themselves and tried to be someone they weren’t. They tried to make that impact on me also and try to take away who I am. It was a huge learning lesson for me and this is what I learned.
I learned that as a society, we have this mindset that if someone doesn’t like us for who we are, we have to change something that is a part of ourselves to meet their expectations.
Even if that part of ourself defines who we are as a person. This can be seen within friendships and a lot of times it is seen within relationships. This alters our vision to see our value as a human; our self-image deteriorates, and our confidence drops significantly.
Keep in mind that when I talk about traits and people wanting you to change, I am talking about positive traits, not so much negative traits or habits.
Toxic relationships are a prime example of these behaviors being shown. So many times people try to change themselves to save a marriage or relationship. They want to change who they are for someone who they merely have a past with.
We have this thought in our minds that maybe if we change something minor about ourselves, maybe they will stay a little longer; but over time what happens when you keep having to change all those “minor” parts about you? Taking all those little parts of you could add up to you giving away the key parts of yourself that make you who you are. Them stripping who you are from you are can be truly devastating. Once you can see your self worth shine through, you will notice that they wanted to take out the best of you because they could never see that in themselves.
People who are toxic and make you want to change you for their own purposes can make life seem draining. Once you find people who fill your life with the confidence and love that you longed for, life will seem less overwhelming. Toxic people drain you, that’s why they are toxic. Good people with good intentions fill your heart and make your life much less stressful.
Nobody ever needs to change themselves for someone who takes them for granted.
Every person is their own beautiful, perfect self. Nobody needs someone to tell them that they aren’t enough for anyone else. You were made the way you are for a reason. So, if someone else tells you that you need to change yourself for them, just remember how there are millions of people out there looking to meet someone with all the traits you acquire and the love that you give.
Pailey Gordon is a student at Fillmore Central High School. She is one of eight area students participating in the Journal Writing Project, now in its 20th year.
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