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Another One From Flaherty: The Trouble with Harry


Fri, May 2nd, 2003
Posted in Columnists

Have you ever taken one of those self-improvement courses? A friend of mine did and he has driven everyone that he knows nuts. He took some sort of course that was supposed to enable him to win friends and influence people and now he has no friends and people avoid him when ever possible.

Now everyone agrees that Harry was definitely in need of improvement; one could go so far as to say, in dire need of improvement. As far as I know, Harry is the only person to ever have been arrested for eating spaghetti in public. I dread to think what he might have been charged with if he had ever been apprehended while eating corn on the cob, to say nothing about a dill pickle.

After taking that course Harry would walk around with a perpetual grin which might work for some people, but Harry doesnít quite have enough teeth for the job. He was also fond of giving a big hug to one and all even if he had only met them for the first time; which may be the reason why Harry never met many people for the second time.

When Harry signed on as a "Greeter" for his church, the parishioners either used the back door, came late, or they stayed home. Harry was also known for and was proud of his hearty laugh, which sounded something like a mule with the hiccups. Harry went to a second-hand book store and found a joke book with one thousand jokes that may have been funny when the book was published back in 1895. Every time Harry cornered a poor wretch, he would tell the poor soul one or more of those old jokes while cutting loose with his braying laugh. Harry always thought that he would be the "life of the party," if ever he were invited to one.

It was bad enough when one had a chance encounter with Harry, but after taking that course, Harry became a "joiner" and joined every club and organization that the town had to offer, and he never missed a meeting. Almost over night a pall had descended over the community. The American Legion and the V.F.W. suspended all meetings and closed their clubrooms. The Eagles and the Elks soon followed suit. People started to shop out of town and the townís only restaurant went out of business for lack of patrons.

Since the only organization that Harry was not eligible to join was the Chamber of Commerce, they were able to convene and decide upon a course of action. After much discussion and deliberation, it was decided that the only hope for t .....
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Township Roads:Chaperones

Fri, May 2nd, 2003
Posted in Columnists

My wife, Deb, and I just got back from the Minnesota FFA Convention. Our sons, Matt and Ted, both participated in the event. They are guitarists in a band named Near-Death Experience that participated in the FFA Talent Contest. Near-Death Experience ..... 
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Journal Writing Project: Eric Leitzen

Fri, Apr 25th, 2003
Posted in Columnists

By Eric M. Leitzen

Anger. Sadness. Indifference. Fear. Longing. This is what I saw on the bronze faces of the nineteen soldiers that made up the National Korean War Memorial. Those faces, so masterfully sculpted, will be forever ..... 
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Of People, Places and Things: Courts will likely decide Heartlandís fate

Fri, Apr 25th, 2003
Posted in Columnists

At the Preston City Council meeting on Monday night, when Preston Mayor Dave Pechulis pulled a rabbit out of his hat and ruled that a three to two vote supporting a conditional use permit for Heartland had failed because it did not meet the super maj ..... 
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At Home in the Woods: Harvey, the Homeless

Fri, Apr 25th, 2003
Posted in Columnists

It is 2:30 p.m. at the Harmony Library, time for me to begin a talk about my book "At Home in the Big Woods," but the only people who are here besides me are the librarian, the maintenance man and one patron. I never know what to expect when I prepar ..... 
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Journal Writing Project: Andy Wolter

Fri, Apr 18th, 2003
Posted in Columnists

Summer seems like it might finally be back, weatherwise at least we see some days crawling up to 80 degrees. School is getting close to being out, again, and I canít say if thatís a good thing or not (again). When ever summer comes around I always ma ..... 
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Township Roads: Gopher Mine

Fri, Apr 18th, 2003
Posted in Columnists

They say that all wealth comes from the earth and I was reminded of that early last Sunday. Against my better judgment I got up early. I ground some coffee beans and set our high-tech coffee maker to do what it does best Ė noisily boil water and slos ..... 
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