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Academy Awards for Mothers


Fri, Jan 25th, 2002
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Monday, January 28, 2001

We are entering the seasonal no-mans landthe time between winter and spring that is even more difficult to define this year because of the unseasonably warm weather.

Its easiest for me to just think of it as the season of the Award Shows. Weve already had the Peoples Choice and Golden Globe awards, not to mention the twice-rescheduled 2001 Emmys. The Oscars must be just around the corner.

I find the award shows to be a time of reflection, and also a time to sneer. "Oh, sure," Ive said as another starlet gracefully crossed the stage to receive a trophy. "Give my friends and me a personal trainer, a nanny for our kids, and a dress that cost more than our annual salaries, and we could be up on that stage, too!" I guess some acting classes and raw talent wouldnt hurt either.

What if there were award shows for the truly deserving, the people who risk life and limb daily in the service of others? What Im imagining is an Academy Awards for Mothers.

My friend Judy ought to get something for her skill in stacking dishes to dry. Not only is she deserving of praise for raising three kids in this day and age with no dishwasher, but the way she stacks those dishes in the sink to dry, sometimes two or three feet high, can only be called art. It is an intricate assembly requiring an instinct for physics, a knowledge of pressure points, and a respect for the equal distribution of weight.

Mothers are the ultimate "multi-taskers." A woman I know in Michigan recalls a somewhat typical day when she found herself talking on the phone and eating a sandwich with one hand, holding her sick daughters head over the toilet with the other hand, and rocking the baby with her foot. Such skills should not be taken lightly.

The "Loaves and Fishes" trophy would have to go to my mother-in-law for her uncanny ability to graciously produce bountiful, delicious, food for a varying number of eaters.

My own mother would get the award for being able to stop a whole roomful of kids from misbehaving with one look. The Look, you might call it. She would have made a wonderful foreign diplomat.

Mothers are capable of performing phenomenal physical stunts. I know a motherokay, it was mewhose toddler slammed the poor womans head in the shower doors at Grandmas when all the mother wanted to do was remove him from an unsafe environment. She saw "stars" for a few seconds, but stayed on her feet.
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Are You Game?

Fri, Jan 25th, 2002
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Monday, January 21, 2002

A quick note on the NFL playoffs which are in full swing with the Vikings sitting on the couch watching on TV like most everyone else. Look for the Rams, Eagles, Patriots and Ravens to go to the next level. The Packers ..... 
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Lost

Fri, Jan 25th, 2002
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Monday, January 21, 2002

My hands clutch the steering wheel and the cord of the CB radio. My knuckles must be as white as the snow that imprisons me in my car. The strong competent voice of my husband comes over the radio: "Nan, where are you? ..... 
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Turtle Dreamtime

Fri, Jan 25th, 2002
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By John LevellMonday, December 10, 2001

While long winter naps certainly seem appealing, a cold weather snooze lasting some five or six months is just a tad bit excessive. Factor in not a breath of fresh air or single bit ..... 
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Questions from the Neighborhood...

Fri, Jan 25th, 2002
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Virginia CooperMonday, January 28, 2002

Why do people wrap small trees? I planted some fruit trees last fall and didn't wrap them, should I?

Young, thin-barked trees are wrapped for two reasons. Firstly to protect them from mice, voles ..... 
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The Compass Never Tells the Truth

Fri, Jan 25th, 2002
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By Wayne PikeMonday, January 14, 2002

I am somewhat skeptical of those directional compasses that you buy to keep in the car. My grandfathers compass that he had in his 19 Ford was the last one that I knew of that worked properly, with the po ..... 
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What about Fillmore County?

Fri, Jan 25th, 2002
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Monday, December 24, 2001

When I arrived at my office last Monday, there was a copy of the Sunday Winona Daily News waiting for me in the entry way. Under a front page story Published farm subsidies stir up debate, which listed the top 20 Wi ..... 
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Fri, Jan 25th, 2002
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Fri, Jan 25th, 2002
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