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To Speak or Not to Speak


Fri, Apr 20th, 2001
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Monday, April 23, 2001

When I awoke this morning, I discovered that I could no longer speak English, at least the English that is spoken today. Something happened when my back was turned and I wasnít looking. What happened is something that is called Political Correctness and I find that I am in violation of it. It is quite possible that I could be brought up on charges unless I change my tongue, so to speak.

Apparently this P.C. regime was not phased in over some time but was the result of a revolution that overturned the governance of semantics and syntax in the English that is spoken in North American. As a result, what used to be a manhole is now referred to as a personhole and itsí cover is no longer a manhole cover, but a personhole cover. Members of any city council are no longer called aldermen, but have become either council members or councilpersons, as if any one cared. At one time my grandfather was the Alderman at Large on the city council and I will not tell you what end would have come to anyone who called him a City Councilperson at Large.

When our forefathers proclaimed that all men are created equal, Iím sorry, when our forepersons proclaimed that all persons are created equal they obviously did not have the present generation in mind. There is no question about it, the Declaration of Independence must be re-written and someone is going to have to edit the first paragraph of Lincolnís Gettysburg Address.

As a result of all this Political Correctness, it has become impossible for me to properly address a business letter. Dear Sir is out and Miss or Mrs. will show me up as the ignorant lout that I have become. I dread to think what would happen to me if I got hauled into court for addressing some woman, whoops, some person as Madame. Iím, sorry, but I just donít understand why any woman (there I go again) kindly strike woman and replace with female, no that is not acceptable either. How about sheperson? Well to get back on track, why would any sheperson that is intelligent and able enough to become a CEO of a corporation wish to be addressed as Miz?

There are no longer any handymen, cleaning ladies or salesmen. They have become handy person, cleaning persons and sales persons or sales representatives, depending upon what they are selling and for whom. Waiters and waitresses have become wait persons and airline hostesses have become stewards. Thank God, at least for now a bartender is still a bartender, .....
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The Gift of Life

Fri, Apr 20th, 2001
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Monday, December 18, 2000

When the phone rang at three a.m. last Monday morning, my husband Joe sat straight up out of a deep sleep, "Baby time," he said.

With one foot on the floor, he then heard me saying, "Yes, you can dry ginger a ..... 
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Farming California Style

Fri, Apr 20th, 2001
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Monday, April 9, 2001

Anyone listening to the news lately could make a fair assumption that California has been having many resource problems in their recent history. What most people donít realize is how it affects Californiaís farm economy. ..... 
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A New Way of Looking

Fri, Apr 20th, 2001
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Monday, April 16, 2001

The first bones belonged to a cow and her unborn baby. I found them near a small wetland by the South Fork of the Root River. I trudged back up the hill to my house carrying a huge pelvis that looked like a primitive mas ..... 
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"Alias Brontosaurus"

Fri, Apr 20th, 2001
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Monday, April 9, 2001

Although known as Brontosaurus to most people the long-necked giant dinosaur serving as the mascot of the Sinclair Oil Company, or as Fred Flintstoneís "steam shovel" for all you cartoon fans, is in reality properly calle ..... 
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Seed Starting

Fri, Apr 20th, 2001
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Virginia CooperMonday, April 23, 2001

About the time of year when most people are still worrying about winter storms and road conditions, some of us are performing secret alchemical rituals in the darkness of our basements and back closets. Ba ..... 
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Talking to Strangers

Fri, Apr 20th, 2001
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Monday, April 23, 2001

Those of us who live along quiet and sparsely populated township roads pride ourselves on knowing what is going on around us. After all, how tough should it be to keep track of the few neighbors with whom we are privileg ..... 
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Trash Talk

Fri, Apr 20th, 2001
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Monday, April 16, 2001

I went for a walk with my two kids a few Sundays ago.

The sky was wonderfully blue, the sun warm and we knew that the last vestiges of winter would soon be gone.

We crossed the road to our neighborís woo ..... 
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Fri, Apr 20th, 2001
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