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Another One From Flaherty


Fri, Oct 4th, 2002
Posted in Columnists

Just about everyone knows what Columbus did in 1492, but almost no one knows what Heathcliff Hammarschlagg did in the year 845. What he did was, he discovered America is what he did. Both North and South and with only one ship, the Torsk, Heathcliff was not your typical Viking in that he was a non-violent Viking, a conscientious objector, so to speak. He had recently taken charge of the family business, which was the operation of a chain of Lutefisk and Lefse emporiums along the coasts of what we know as Norway, Sweden, Denmark, France, Spain, and Portugal.

On June 4, 845, Heathcliff Hammarschlagg and Hildebrand Horsekenfeld were united in marriage and set sail for a honeymoon and business trip on Heathcliff’s ship, the Torsk, with a cargo of Lutefisk and Aquavit. Two days out of Bergen they were caught up in a storm that tossed them about for quite a while. Since Heathcliff and Hildebrand were unaware of anything but one another and the crew was enjoying the cargo of Aquavit, no one noticed anything unusual about the weather.

As all good things must come to an end, the good ship Torsk, having had enough, beached herself on the shore of a new land. A day or two later, Heathcliff came up out of the hold for a breath of fresh air, fell overboard and discovered America.

Fortunately for Heathcliff, he did not land on a rock, but on a beach that is now known as Pismo Beach, California. The Honeymooners stayed at Pismo Beach until after the birth of their daughter, Hingasguurda; who, by the way, was the first white child to be born in America. When they had seen and done all that there was to see and do at Pismo Beach, they decided that they might as well set sail for home.

They sailed South along the coast until a lookout reported that the land narrowed and he could see what appeared to be another ocean on the other side. Heathcliff thought that they could dig a ditch and float the Torsk to the other ocean, but Hildebrand told him not to be so dumb. It would take too long and besides that, they didn’t have any shovels. So they dragged the Torsk to the other ocean and set sail for home.

Heathcliff and Hildebrand never told anyone where they had been because it had been their honeymoon and nobody’s business. The crew didn’t know where they had been and couldn’t have cared less. For those reasons, the world would not know of the new land for sometime to co .....
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At Home in the Woods

Fri, Sep 27th, 2002
Posted in Columnists

It's a relief that 9/11 has come and gone with no additional terrorist attacks. But, it seems that there is still a lot to worry about--impending war with Iraq, more attacks, West Nile and other exotic viruses, the lagging economy and climate change. ..... 
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Prairie Notes-For Richer and Poorer

Fri, Sep 27th, 2002
Posted in Columnists

It’s been raining wedding invitations lately at our house. There’d been a drought for a few years—just long enough for this guest to gain a few years in age, if not in wisdom. I’m not much on ceremony, but weddings interest me. Like many people, I’ve ..... 
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Does It Matter?

Fri, Sep 27th, 2002
Posted in Columnists

I don’t normally write about national politics, but I have been troubled by recent events in Washington, in particular the move by the Bush Administration to seek Congressional approval for the President to take military action against Iraq. & ..... 
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Notes from a Country Kitchen

Fri, Sep 13th, 2002
Posted in Columnists

This is our invitation for us cousins that I talked about last week, up to my sister Dolly's in Goodhue. Chocolate is a vegetable!

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Beans = vegetables. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar ..... 
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Notes from a Country Kitchen

Fri, Sep 6th, 2002
Posted in Columnists

Annabelle Kvam Monday, September 9, 2002

You won’t believe me, but I was gone again this week, two days in a row. Wednesday our cousins (ladies only) met up at sister Dolly’s in Goodhue. There was nine of us plus Dolly’s two girls. We chatted ..... 
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Notes from a Country Kitchen

Fri, Aug 30th, 2002
Posted in Columnists

Annabelle Kvam Monday, September 2, 2002

A tribute to teachers

God gave to you
the rarest gift
an understanding heart.
A gentle kindly manner
your wisdom to impart.
Oh, some men build
with steel and iron
to pave ..... 
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Notes from a Country Kitchen

Fri, Aug 23rd, 2002
Posted in Columnists

Annabelle Kvam Monday, August 26, 2002

Well, I’m still alive, what a nice wedding we had last Saturday the 17th. My grandson was married at 4:00 p.m. and it was so pretty. I was there and was thinking, “lady your getting old, this groom was my ..... 
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Notes from a Country Kitchen

Fri, Aug 16th, 2002
Posted in Columnists

Annabelle Kvam Monday, August 19, 2002

What a fun day, don’t plan anything, just do what you want to. My friend Betty came the other day. She called me in the morning and said she was coming over at 1:00 p.m. When she got to my house we just d ..... 
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