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Lord of the Dance


Sun, Aug 27th, 2000
Posted in

Monday, August 28, 2000

My wife told me that I had won first prize and was chosen to be her escort for her all-school reunion last weekend. I actually looked forward to the event, especially when it was her reunion and not mine. It was unlikely that I would be the one straining through uncooperative bifocals to read nametags of people who seemed to know me well. My place was to sit quietly and smile while everyone else tried to carry on meaningful conversations over the noise of a hundred other such conversations. It was a chance for me to overeat, observe people, and relax in the knowledge that nobody there knew me or had the time to try.

Among the most interesting characters in the room was the young man they hired to put on the dance. He was a disc jockey who felt that he had to do his own singing. I was skeptical at first that this act was going to fill the last four hours of the evening in a productive manner. His Elvis impersonations had me thinking, "Why is it always Elvis? Why not a Perry Como or Bing Crosby impersonator?" Not that I care about them all that much, but it would be different.

The dance started in name only. The disc jockey sang a couple numbers and pleaded with people to come and dance. I had to give him credit that he did not get discouraged and sit down. He kept trying and finally played a couple slow numbers that filled the dance floor with couples who had been waiting for that type of music. After two slow songs, he switched to a faster beat that swept the floor completely clear of dancers. They never returned in such numbers for the rest of the evening.

I tried to do my part. My dancing skills are crude. I have two feet, one left and one right, that have managed to do almost everything I have ever asked them to do. However, when it comes to dancing, I think my problem is that I am musically impaired. To me, it seems that most of the songs have exactly the same rhythm and if that rhythm is the least bit subtle, I am lost. With coaching from my musical and graceful wife, I can eventually get my feet going in some semblance of a dance. The waltz, foxtrot, and swing always receive a completely new interpretation when I am trying to do them.

Those who tried to educate me early in life are not to blame for my dance ineptitude. Our country school was visited once a week by a roving music teacher who did what she could to get us up to speed in that department. At her bidding, we shoved our desks t .....
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Survivors

Sun, Aug 27th, 2000
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Monday, August 28, 2000

This is a story about survivors.

No, it is not about the gameshow/psychodrama that was recently portrayed on CBS, where neurosis is a developmental skill highly valued by artificially created tribal groups.
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The Country Squire

Sun, Aug 27th, 2000
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It seems as though it was yesterday but it has been al-most ten years since I retired. As a matter of fact, I can barely remember what it was that I did for a living. I can remember how I well I prepared for my retirement. I bought books on the birds ..... 
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Journal Profile # 78

Sun, Aug 27th, 2000
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Name: Tyler Benson
Home: Rushford
Age: 15
Profession: I am a ninth grade student at Rushford-Peterson
Family: Dad, Mom, & Sister
Hero: My Mom, Dad and Uncle Ron
Hobby: I like goi ..... 
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Ground Cherry Pie

Sun, Aug 27th, 2000
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1 cup husked ground cherries
1 unbaked pie shell
2 eggs
1/8 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup sugar
1 tablespoon flour
1 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
Fill pastry shell with cherries. Beat eggs with salt. Add sugar and flour, then milk ..... 
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8/28/00

Sun, Aug 27th, 2000
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Max, Maxxximum, Madcap, Cartoon, Food for thought, Fud 4 thot

Monday, August 28, 2000

Sun, Aug 27th, 2000
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To the Editor,

Earlier this spring during the course of the controversy over the Reilands plan to expand their dairy operation, I was disappointed to hear one of our legislators refer to some environmentalists as tree huggers and bunny lo ..... 
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Sun, Aug 27th, 2000
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Sun, Aug 27th, 2000
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