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Sometimes I get yelled at


Sun, Nov 19th, 2000
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Monday, November 13, 2000

I think that most of us have heard stories about the absent minded professor. Well, I am not now nor have I ever been a professor, but I am and always have been absent minded. In my case, being absent minded is like never being at home when someone is knocking at the door. My mind wanders from subject to subject but never seems to focus on the matter at hand.

Back when I was in the fifth grade, Sister Lavinia could never seem to get my attention. She said that I was always daydreaming and that she had a remedy for it. She instructed the girl behind me to poke me between the shoulder blades when I seemed to be drifting off. I was still black and blue when I reached the eighth grade.

When I was in high school my gym class was marched out to the athletic field and I was forced to play softball. I was placed at first base and told that if the ball should come my way, I should catch it and put the runner out. I stood there for a while and then since not much was happening, I struck up a conversation with a girl that was sitting on the sidelines. I was just getting to know her when someone ran into me and knocked me down. The guys on the team started to yell at me and the girl wanted to know how I could be so dumb.

One day back in 1954, I was flying a small airplane and going nowhere in particular; I was just flying for the fun of it. I was thinking of the flying Aces of World War One and dreamed that I was flying with them in a Sopwith Camel. I had just finished a dogfight when I happened to look down and noticed that I was about to fly over a large lake. That lake got my immediate attention because there are no large lakes in southeastern Minnesota. I turned around and was trying to figure out where in the air I was when the airplane had had enough and the engine quit. I was out of gas! The airplane usually requires that someone be at the controls before it takes off but once it is in the air, it is quite capable of coming down on its own. The airplane and I landed in some farmers corn field. The farmer came out in his pickup and began yelling and calling me names. He also made me pay for the corn that I knocked down.

It was on a Saturday morning in 1956 and I was going to be married at 10:00 a.m. Have you ever had the feeling that there was something that you were suppose to do or have done but you just couldnt remember what? Well, I got married and everything was fine until the priest asked .....
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A Harry Potter party

Sun, Nov 19th, 2000
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Monday, October 23, 2000

Harry Potter has worked magic in Fillmore County, enticing both children and adults to become passionate readers. And I, too, have become a Harry Potter fan. In fact, as each new book was released I had to bargain with ..... 
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Too close to call

Sun, Nov 19th, 2000
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By Amy HazelNovember 20, 2000

I'm sure everyone is very sick of hearing about the election and its problems. But this is an issue that needs to be discussed. After all, we are one of the few and very lucky nations on the face of this earth th ..... 
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Possessed

Sun, Nov 19th, 2000
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Monday, October 30, 2000

Author Moritz Thomsen writes of his house in an Ecuadorian jungle: "At first it is infuriating to discover what is going on beneath your nose; the books rotted; the phonograph records green with mold . . . boots turnin ..... 
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The Living Museum:

Sun, Nov 19th, 2000
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A Historical OverviewBy John LevellMonday, November 13, 2000

So just where in southeastern Minnesota can one experience balmy 80 degree temperatures while viewing exotic tropical wildlife right through those long, cold an ..... 
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Born in the 19th century

Sun, Nov 19th, 2000
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Monday, November 13, 2000

In 1895, Grover Cleveland was President of the United States, Stephan Crane published The Red Badge of Courage, and a six-dollar railroad trip from Minneapolis to California took four days. It was also the year ..... 
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Heating Season

Sun, Nov 19th, 2000
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Monday, November 20, 2000

It has become a family mission to see how far into the fall we can get without using any LP gas for heat. As I begin this writing, it is the first of November and we have not turned on our furnace since last April. Th ..... 
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*Political Asterisks*

Sun, Nov 19th, 2000
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Monday, November 20, 2000

The asterisk is a wonderful punctuation mark. The star-like figure is used to indicate omissions, footnotes, references, exceptions, etc. In the hands of a grammar-deficient writer like me, the uses become nearly infi ..... 
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Sun, Nov 19th, 2000
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