Being housebound is Boring! I cleaned the junk drawer. I cleaned my closet! I dusted the bedroom. My husband fears for my sanity. Mother Nature is having a hissy-fit or a nervous breakdown. She is in a rut — brutal cold, blizzards, brutal cold, blizzards. You get the idea.
I started listening to a Jimmy Buffet CD hoping to cheer myself up. It worked until we got to a song with lyrics, “I just shot four holes in my freezer. I think I’ve got cabin fever.” Then I laughed hysterically. I guess at one time Jimmy lived in Minnesota, too. My husband changed the CD to calming classical music as he muttered under his breath. I think he said, “Thank God she doesn’t have a gun.” He is such a kidder!
Later, I explained the government snow globe propaganda to him. Everybody loves snow globes, but everybody does not want to live in Minnesota. Have you ever noticed that the people in the globe are always smiling. Have you ever seen one of them holding a tiny show shovel to shovel a sidewalk? Have you ever seen a road that needs to be plowed? The government wants people to think that snow is all fun and games. Sometimes there is a snowman in that globe. This is how the government tricks people to live in Minnesota. Then when they arrive, they give free snow shovels to the adults and brightly colored, small plastic snow shovels to the children. This conditioning has gone on for generations so we all think that shoveling snow is just a part of life. What brainwashing! My husband looked at me in disbelief. Sometimes he isn’t a very deep thinker.
Then the garden catalogs arrived, and I smiled and wrote out a huge order for all the colorful, gorgeous flowers. I decided that money was no object. My mental health was at stake. I showed the order to my husband. Very slowly and softly he informed me that none of them would grow in Zone 4. He talks to me like I am a child.
I started dreaming that my lilac bushes were blooming in the snow drifts. So I got out all my partially used jar candles with names like lilac blossoms, lily of the valley, lavender and rose garden and lit them during the day so I could enjoy the scent. My husband thought that this was odd. Go figure.
Then I started to worry that March snowfall would be so great that our windows would be covered. That would block all the sunlight and my houseplants would die. I caressed their leaves and whispered soothing encouragement about spring coming. We would all be out on the deck with warm weather, sunshine and green grass. I could tell that they thought I was lying about spring, especially the bonsai tree. Throwing caution to the wind, I promised them that I would make a break for it between the brutal cold and the blizzards and buy them grow lights. This seemed to reassure them. My husband wondered why I was talking to myself.
He suggested I meditate. I reclined in my recliner, closed my eyes and practiced deep breathing. When I slowly inhaled, I thought: cold and snow, go away. When I slowly exhaled, I thought: spring, spring come and stay. After about 20 breaths I was quite relaxed. Then my husband interrupted me by spouting winter weather stats and records that had been broken this year for snow and cold weather. The man is obsessed about this winter weather. I need to keep my eyes on him. He has been rather irritable lately!
Pork Chop Bake
6 pork chops (l inch thick)
4 medium potatoes (uncooked, peeled and sliced)
4 oz. sliced mushrooms, drained
1 envelope Lipton onion soup mix
1 cup water
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brown chops in large skillet and drain. In a buttered 2 qt. dish, arrange potatoes, mushrooms, and chops. Combine soup mix and water and pour over the meat. Cover with foil and bake until potatoes are tender, about 1 1/2 hours.