All I want for Christmas is an Olympic Medal. It means that you are one of the best in the world at something. Obviously, it means you are good at some sport. The last time I was a winner in the sporting arena was when I was in first grade playing hopscotch with kindergarteners. I am not one bit athletic. I am no longer bitter about this since I no longer have to take any phy-ed class. After my success in hopscotch I moved on to square dancing and was quite good. I draw the line at bowling and softball. I could never compete in gymnastics because I can’t do a cartwheel or a back bend or the splits. Thank goodness I never signed up for a class in archery. Think of the people I could have injured!
Because of my athletic handicap, I think the Olympic Committee could consider allowing other categories in this world competition. No, I don’t mean ice dancing. I was thinking more along the line of public speaking or shopping. I hate to brag about this but, I DID WIN A TROPHY IN PERSUASIVE SPEAKING IN COLLEGE. I still have that trophy in pride of place in my attic just in case people don’t believe me. I have no awards for shopping, but I should have some for all the practice I have completed.
Now, there are a few rules to follow if you really want to excel at something, whether it be basketball or public speaking. Number one is starting at an early age. Number two is powerful motivation. And then as they say, “Practice makes perfect”. Of course, genetics may also play a part. Every person in my family has the shopping gene! We inherited it from my mother, the garage sale, auction sale, and antique shop EXPERT. Just saying the word “sale” caused her to salivate. She would become giddy clipping coupons. She had a bumper sticker that read, “This car stops for garage sales.” Because of her expertise and savy as a bargain hunter, her standards were high. She didn’t consider 10% or 20% off a sale. Fifty percent was o.k., but 80% was better. If she ever got 90% off an item, she became delirious. Whether she needed the item or not, she could not resist the victory of the purchase!
Since we children were dragged along on all shopping expeditions, we started at an early age. Praise from mother is a great motivator, and we enjoyed the practice. We all married non-shoppers so we continued to hone our skills. We shopped “Black Friday” before it was named. After Christmas we showed no mercy to amateurs who stopped to talk in the middle of an aisle or pushed their carts too slowly. Jogging was invented to make carts go faster! We huffed and puffed loudly at shoppers who weren’t prepared to pay at the cash register and had to get money, checks or cards out of their purses. What were they doing while waiting in line? And woe to the shopper ahead of us in line who needed a price check. Hissing and booing emanated from us! Champions are rarely popular with defeated rivals so we ignored their dirty looks and crude comments about people who lacked manners.
I hope I have made it clear that if the Olympic Committee made” shopping” a category, I would win a medal. I would neglect to tell any of my siblings about this change. They are too shy to compete, so I would do it for the honor of my family. When winning the medal, I would thank my mother for her part in my training! My family members are never too shy to eat so I know they will enjoy this recipe!
Parmesan Herb Rolls
2 8oz. cans crescent roll dough sheets
2 tablespoons butter, melted
1 teaspoon garlic powder
3/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
1/4 cup chopped fresh sage
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper. On a lightly floured surface, unroll dough. Brush each with 1 tablespoon melted butter. Sprinkle each with 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder, 6 tablespoons cheese, 2 tablespoons parsley and 2 tablespoons sage. Starting with one short side, roll up dough; pinch sides to seal. Cut each log into 8 portions. Place rolls 2 inches apart on prepared pan and slightly press each roll. Bake until golden brown, 10-12 minutes. Let cool on pan for 2 minutes. Serve warm. Makes 16.